This news kind of put me over the edge today. I mean.

Motherfucker

Oh SO good!

“Your drunk uncle.” Priceless.

Holy shit

When people say “trust me,” they know and we know they’re not trustworthy at all.

I let my cashmere cardigan sit and it developed moth holes. Don’t wait—wear it!

This is the outfit of someone who doesn’t have any friends to tell her no, honey, that doesn’t work. Oh hell no.

I think the monochrome color shows a lack of imagination.

Whenever I hear myself think “everybody this” or “nobody that” I know I’m full o’ shit again.

I try to be conscious of my effect on insecure and vulnerable people, I really do. I don’t hear “you intimidate me” as much as I used to. Also, oldness seems to disarm some fuckers.

He can’t read, y’know.

Don’t hate me because I watched True Blood 1.67 times.

My Hillary 2016 button keeps falling off my driver-side visor, and I keep sticking it back on. When I flip it down, she be standing UPRIGHT.

I’m gonna ugly-cry.

Oh, I thought that was his EEG.

Why is he trying so hard to restate her question in his own terms?

This, many times starred.

Bragging rights: I caught on to Reagan’s incoherence long before the diagnosis was made public.

The adjustable aperture in your camera’s lens is the opening that is how much lets in light, it lets in and it’s measured in and the size of the aperture is measured in f-stops.