I'm not far from Lincoln Park Zoo, which has regular boozy events. Viewing cute animals is even more fun when you're drinking craft beer around dusk (when many animals are most active).

Looks like the other side of the wang, Boca Grande

Why don't I drive to the zoo more??

Yeah I heard someone describe it this morning and it didn't sound like something you wanted to F with.

That happened to me once when my salary didn't increase at the same rate with the cost of living, so I was moved into a lower tax bracket without realizing it. Definitely review that for this year.

My last day of work is on Friday! And everyone is making it abundantly clear how essential I am and how fun to work with I am, so it's been very touching!

I find it hard to take DC transit shutdowns seriously after seeing buses shut down there for snow that amounted to maaaybe 4 inches there a couple years ago. Come to Chicago and walk up hill both ways in 2 feet of snow, ya weenies!

I think it's alright. It was slow, very little damage, didn't knock me into the car that I was very close to in front of me. My head got rocked back but I wasn't rag dolled around, so I'm not worried about concussion. I already have neck and shoulder issues from cancer fun, so I think if it had been a problem, it…

Nothing fills me rage like the mail they won't stop sending to me, a former resident, and "current resident". Yes, I get three pieces of every mail item they send out. And I report them to the FTC on a monthly basis. GET OFF MY LAWN, COMCAST!

Someone rear ended me this morning.

I feel bad for the person at Amazom whose job it will be to filter out all the dick pics they end up with.

It's like they Disappeared Completely.

Unfortunately in Mexico, this was considered a much more inflammatory gesture.

Damn it! The last time they were here for Lolla, I swore I'd see them headline and be done with Lolla forever. Well, I guess seeing them headline again still fulfills that declaration.

Soap is for fairies. Real men develop a natural funk that yells MEN at the olfactory senses of anyone who dares approach them.

*Looks down at my outfit* D'oh!

That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.

I'll condescend until you're better at googling.

They're not archival, so the color fades considerably over time. I have super old paperbacks at my parents' house that are a different color along the top and outside edge from sticking out behind a smaller book into sunlight.

When they should be focusing on perverted math!