Yup my favourite revenge story was the lady of the local manor who raided her husband's multimillion pound wine cellar and left bottles on all the villagers doorsteps. That my friends is class.

Was your friend at a vegan restaurant when that happened?

I just don't see how it's exceptionally evil that restrooms are reserved for customers at businesses. I mean, it sucks sometimes, but after working retail I understand why many small businesses get shy about letting anyone use their restroom: people will literally shit and piss on the walls. It can be a massive…

THANK YOU, gurl! I will do my best to live up to my Jezebel crown.

omg did you just tell another commenter to hold up while you worked on writing your comment? See, this is what fine commenting is all about. RESPECT THE DIVA, Y'ALL.

My mother is always more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual gift. She will write to friends about how nice it was. "Oh Becky gave me a gift with such nice paper. And so well folded at the corners. It was like something from the Macy's gift wrapping department. Very professional looking. Such a nice bow,…

The only way to find out is to get you behind the scenes at Walking with Dinosaurs the Arena Spectacular.

Generally when you make those statements you can back it up. Usually teachers don't just go "that one! Yes! The one who their address ends in apt 7b! In school suspension!" if you end up in school jail, you probably did something to go to school jail.

me: "that's....*nods head* that's poorly done."

I've been going to the Planned Parenthood by my house for over two years for my lady health because the nurse in charge is AMAZING at her job, the staff is friendly, the office is clean and I feel better there than I do at my normal doctor's office, thanks to my change in insurance.

I've been harassed multiple times by…

I just don't know what the fuck "prolifers" consider a successful outcome from their mandatory ultrasounds and speeches...

I am sure everyone likes pictures of your cats and face. It is just that only 166 people have seen them so far.

I was at a book festival where Giada de Laurentiis was doing a cooking demo. She suggested that people just throw out questions as she worked. The first question was from DerpLady, who asked "Can I help you?" Giada kindly assented. She was making white bean dip and told the lady to salt the mixture, handing her a bowl…

For some reason-as in nothing in the books really suggested it-I always pictured Katie Bell as a lesbian in my head since reading the fourth book when I was 14. I thought she might have been in a relationship with Alicia Spinnet who was on the Quidditch team with her, and then later, after Alicia graduated from…

Count this shiksa as disappointed this is not Hannukah themed, as all holiday-and-clarinet-related media should be.

I am still waiting for a Zucker bros. or Wayans Bros. movie to work in the pun "Immaculate Contraception" at some point. It just seems like low-hanging-fruit of the tree of knowledge.

And how many of them knows the difference between the Virgin Birth and Immaculate Conception?

The best part was that when my mom came to get me after I got fired (I was 16 — I couldn't drive myself yet!) she wanted to stop by the mall on the way home. There was a fancy new store that sold tapes and CDs (! — hey, this was 1986!) opening up, and they were setting up the store. In a fit of bravado I asked if they…

Especially when it's so obvious that the bad actors in a situation are the men. There are a couple on there where I think, "OK, both seem like toxic people," but most of them seem to be the men.

I thought she was kind of joking about wanting to break up with the guy for not liking cats and he got all pissy about it.