When I was seven or eight I asked my five years older cousin what "fuck" meant. I knew it was a bad word, I just didn't know what it meant. She said, "It's a verb. I was absolutely shocked when verbs were introduced in grammar class.

As a bonus, it's hilarious and adorable to hear my two year old say "Hi Penis!" when I change his diaper in the morning.

I am just loving his show. He really fucking nails it when, after tearing down the mysteries behind the "biggest provider of scholarships for women" numbers, he shows us how fucking pathetic that is and, as we see here, calls for us to donate to other organizations.

As someone who has had an abortion, let me assure you that it can take weeks to get an appointment for one. I waited two for mine, and when I called during that first week to see if there had been any cancellations, I was informed there weren't any for another month.

At the point the daughter was at, it was too late for Plan B. It's usually taken the next day. Plan B prevents implantation of a fertilized egg, it doesn't cause an abortion.

WAT.

the worst part is, i am pretty sure i recall correctly that it was a teacher's conference. so she was broke too, and she wasn't supposed to be quite that stupid

yo how the fuck are there DISSENTERS in this post. IT'S A VIDEO OF KITTIES. WHAT THE FUCK STANDARDS DO YOU HAVE FOR KITTY VIDEOS. THIS ISN'T FILM SCHOOL THIS IS THE INTERNET.

Someone just went out of their way to drive to my house with his young son and return my wallet. I lost it last night at a diner and the hawk-eyed lad saw the logo on it (It's the Imperial logo from the Elder Scrolls games) and told his father.

I was gonna say- this will make one hell of an application essay.

Franco really needs to realize this. His career should be all pothead buddy movies with Rogen, instead of finding new and pretentious ways to destroy Faulkner.

I was specifically told some of my previous commentary on addiction was "ableist" by addicts themselves on that particular piece. So I apologised, said I would take their words to heart, do more research, and I've done exactly that. However, I know exactly what it's like to say, "hey this phrasing offends me…

Are these all the things she said?

...that would be other addicts. If it's not appropriate, I'll stop. Period.

I wrote a handful of reviews on businesses for Yelp and then went back to update one months after I wrote it and couldn't find it. I looked under their hidden reviews and there it was- removed for some inscrutable reason from the rating average and from a cursory view. I then checked all my reviews and they were all…

Please, please someone go on there and leave a review that says "Could've used more vegan options" and nothing else. I'll die laughing.

"A Jezebel Commenter Was Given a Sub-Site, and You Won't Believe What Happened Next!"

I think it's more of: