It's just a very long facial hair that was apparently ingrown. No pus, only a drop (seriously, a drop) of blood... Actually not that scary. It's sort of gross and weird that he had this really long hair growing curled up inside his face, but it's not revolting as it comes out.

So, I can see how that might be a good way to loosen and warm up, but that lady is 700% too perky for me to consider dealing with.

"I'm a very important person. I sell monogrammed coffee thermoses."

It's the ciiirrrcle of liiiiiife...

Those animatronic dinosaurs would have scared the shit out of me at that age. Fuck, they would probably scare the shit out of me now.

Oh, god. May the force be with you.

I had to turn off the sound - the retching was too much for me. That lady has to be like, "I hope you understand how much I love you, because seriously."

Youth in Asia: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives… (<3 David Sedaris)

Mmmm... Although sub the fish for a big slab of chicken and it wouldn't look out of place on the Chili's menu.

I don't know what this is, but I want to eat it.

Yes! I don't understand the appeal. When I was in college, people were like, they're great drunk food! And I was like, no, by definition something needs to be fried to be good drunk food, but good try, because I might have to be drunk to spend that much on that bland a sandwich. This from someone whose favorite cereal…

Seriously, that muscle control, though!

She needs to team up with this lady:

YES. I remember reading Hatchet in 4th or 5th grade and thinking, why do I have to read this? And something about vomit. I remember reading something about vomit that seemed really overly-descriptive and being so grossed out.

That's what I think about forgiveness too. It's not about forgetting or pretending something didn't happen, but forging a path for personal healing and peace. And damn if it isn't hard.

I went to an arts high school and we didn't have any sports teams, but our mascot was a fucking dragon. DRAGON! It was really too bad we couldn't have put it to better use.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. She was just kind of garden-variety weirdo crazy person until here.

Off topic a little, but I really kind of like that flooring.

I scrolled down really quickly and just caught a glimpse of the IUD and thought, "A hammer? What're you supposed to do with that?"

It's the fucking quilting. I hate that damn quilting.