“...being a kid was one long struggle with boredom.”

I don’t have an answer for you but this caused me to remember something: From the time I was about 5 through to the age when I should know better (which is coming up any time now), I was terrified of quicksand. I spent my formative years in Nebraska, then on to Colorado, and have never seen quicksand, never been close…

Wait. Are we talking a tap-dancing Jesus or a tap-dancing cracker (although I guess he could be a tap-dancing cracker)? After all the fuckery this week, I think this is a reasonable thing to wonder about.

Oh, if only he had shot her. THAT would be news!

Just someone who doesn’t know who Nancy was (Sid either, probably). No judgement here, just age.

That’s how I got Mr. Muray_Present to marry me.

Hmmmmm. If they just spent half as much time proof-reading...

Gwen found out that Gavin and the nanny were having sex on the family’s iPad. {Sigh.} Oh, Jezebel.

“Unreasonable behavior?” I’d like to adopt this as My Reason for Everything. “Murray, why don’t you like any of the Kardashians?” Me: “Because of their unreasonable behavior.” “Murray, why aren’t you a Raiders fan?” Me: “Because of their unreasonable behavior.” “Murray, why ARE you a Broncos fan?” Me: “Because of…

Swallowing vs ... not?

Madonna elicits that same visceral reaction from me with or without the rosary. Madonna, Stevie Nicks & Julia Roberts alone or together just drive me nuts.

Oh, “John Donne...” my ass. Who can she possibly think she’s kidding?

But at the end of every paragraph, we’d have to endure an “At the end of the day...”

I think it would help a lot if we could have access to images of all the women who ever existed. How can a completely subjective answer be expressed if we don’t have all the information?! Here are some “good starts” for me, though:

I’m trying to figure out what a “seat building” is.

He and Anne had 3 children; seems it’d be pretty easy.

We lived ONE BLOCK away from a Dairy Queen and I had a banana split every night for the last trimester. A pregnant woman who can’t indulge her whims is not one to be trifled with.

From what I’ve heard, getting involved with Halle (or merely brushing against her in an elevator) will do that to a person.

It is kind of funny sometimes. I had to get my driver license renewed yesterday and had to go through all kinds of foolishness in order to look decent for the picture. One good thing: My left cheekbone looks like it could cut glass!

Nope. Implants next month. A bridge was discussed and rejected when I thought about Baby Ruths and caramel apples.