Either you’re being deliberately provocative, or you’re blissfully unaware of the fact that cell service is going to be one of the first things to fail during a disaster.

Kelce is on someone else’s team in my fantasy league, so I need her to stay home when he plays

A baby?

While it’s nice that Taylor Swift got to hang with the girls this weekend, we must not ignore the damage done to Travis Kelce’s performance [i.e., the football kind] as a result of her not attending the Chiefs game this weekend. Seriously, would it have been too much trouble for her to just pop over to Frankfurt…

Or how people in Victorian novels speak of “making love” by which they meant simply chatting affectionately with their object of desire

Oh, but he has shot someone.

a Nobu Martini starts at $22 plus tax and tip, and comes in three varieties: lychee, pineapple and grapefruit.

Yep, a real pro would’ve engaged Carrie Underwood as his creative consultant.

In Canada, we have a very broad definition of breaking and entering. You don’t actually have to actually break anything, and you don’t even have to fully enter. For example, if you trick someone into letting you into their house, you can be charged with breaking and entering, because you wouldn’t have “lawful…

Yep. This election was clearly rigged!

Holy shit, that quoted bit is a real...thing. I wonder whether anthropologists of the future (if we get to have such a thing) will think sentences like that are just Mad Libs created by children.

Clay Davis enters the chat to say he has no idea what all the fuss is about.

My first crush. The delightful Penelope “Pretty Penny” Pitstop. She really had it all.

Dastardly and Muttley! (Now I feel compelled to search up some pics of Penelope Pitstop.)

video of Gerard Pique

your need to hyper fixate...cry harder

Thank you for being a good, uncritical little consumer.

“it’s just a few, these eight, working with all the Democrats to ruin the reputation of the Republicans”

I was just asking myself the same thing: “Is this really how people dress for college football games in Arkansas?”

Sir, this is an Arby’s.