This sucks. And hurts. My father loved Clapton. Worshiped at his alter of guitar playing to the point of handcrafting his own amp to duplicate the amp Clapton used on the legendary John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers album. Owned multiple Strats, of course. Could play pretty much any Clapton solo note for note.

Checkmate, atheists!

I love how the article tries to insinuate that it was terrible that she took a week to respond to this manufactured controversy. Y’all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Oh man, you didn’t check in to see how this insane stretch of a nothing-burger was getting roasted over at The Root? Cause it’s getting no traction there, and it feels like their readership should know.

Not to defend Colonial, but they are a business and they’re in business to make money. Also, the computer systems have replaced the manual paper systems of yore. You can’t just suddenly grab a pad of paper and a calculator to replace complex automated billing systems and having them on standby doesn’t really make…

No, you cannot stab someone with a blood icicle like Sub-Zero in Mortal Kombat

“She ain’t bright, she’s just thick.
Her man, the Vision, ain’t got no dick!”

- Looks like there was one disclaimer they forgot.

Wow. So you and all the likely very similarly circumstanced people you know kept your jobs?? That’s an incredible statistical anomaly! No really. Kindly stfu and move along.

It was nice that they finally let Boba Fett do something useful and cool in a Star Wars story.  He’s been skating on his reputation for 40 years now.

I’ve never gotten lost since owning one. You can look up answers to any questions you have about virtually anything, anywhere. I always have a camera, clock, flashlight, mp3 player, and a dozen other things when I need them. I can get a ride or food delivered even if I’m not at home. They’re a common way for lower…

Oh I get it you watched season one before everyone else did. Then it became popular and you had to stop. Because god forbid you like anything popular.

Shocked to see Chris D’Elia has been accused of being a comedian.

Well, the auto worker was full of shit. And he was acting like a horse’s ass.

I’ll pass on calling dibs. Few things are more humiliating than being underwater on a Hyundai.

It’s obviously battered fish.

If there are three cup sizes, and the person taking the order can’t figure out how “small”, “medium” or “large” corresponds to their naming convention, then their compulsory education failed them.

Well when I’m eating out an elf...

Who is Alex Trebek? 

How sad is your life to take the time to write all this shit. I couldn’t bother myself to read it entirely.