Oh my days, makeup for black people was so bad in those days. I'm glad things have moved on although still not enough.

Literally unrecognizable. Kelly is obviously Kelly though!

I legitimately only found Beyonce in that picture by a process of elimination.

I can't be the only person not surprised by this. Amber Rose seems like the famous version of the third most annoying person in your Facebook feed — the one who's all "Hubby got a water from the gas station and got one for me too #thoughtful #blessed #keeper #truelove" fourteen times a day. Hashtag protests too much.

Tyler Perry is having a kid.

The bible is nothing if not a Bildungsroman.

"I must adjourn to the lavatory," I thought sagaciously as my stomach gently bellowed its distress, "for I fear the harrowing quality of the author's missive has upset my constitution and given me the vomiting diarrhea," I finished knowingly, my bowel sagely and brutally asserting its assent.

Science and socialism and birthdays, oh my! Science and socialism and birthdays, oh my!

I, for one, am glad that she specified that he's wearing shoes on BOTH of his feet.

Sure thing, Kitchen Hat!

YER A JESUS, HARRY.

Speak for yourself. I got really, really into Shiva-worship after I played Final Fantasy that one time.

Well, this essay makes me feel like a garbage person, or at least an utter failure as a straight single woman, so I'm going to stop internetting for the day now.

Okay, I would buy this just to hear her rendition of Waterfalls. I feel like a lot of the other choices are kind of "safe," but that one I'm very interested in.

I was just thinking that if you want REALLY REALLY rough sex, why not go for the burrito before? Especially with extra beans.

I hate hugs. I think I would like this dress.

Nope, my first thought was "Comic Sans. Probably purple."

Jennifer Aniston has got to be the biggest troll in Hollywood. Right now she's sitting on a beach in Cabo with a margarita in her hand laughing her ass off at the covers of this week's tabloids.