It’s legal to donate a kidney, but not for someone to cut a kidney out of you without your consent. I think that’s the kind of law that should be in effect here.

Hey, the police made a mistake. Okay, a series of mistakes. Stupid and racist mistakes. Over several hours. Can’t we just let that go already?!?!

And I’m mad Bristol Palin is still a thing, but what can ya do?

Obama should just call her up and tell her he doesn’t want to be lectured about his life choices, or whatever it is she said when she got knocked up this time.

The lack of empathy here just blows my mind! He’s a CHILD, can’t you just be happy for the poor kid that something so terrible and traumatic turned into something good?

“This is the kind of stuff Bristol needs to STAY out of.”

Yes, Bristol, you’re absolutely right. The police who dragged a 14-year-old out of school in handcuffs for building a science project and subjected him to hours of racist interrogation without allowing him access to a lawyer or his parents are the real victims here. The police and white people everywhere. Can’t put…

Well, it’s all about how much it can haul. Obviously, a doucheschooner hauls more than a douchecanoe, though both pale before the douchefreighter.

So is a doucheschooner like a douche canoe, but worse? Is there an established hierarchy of douchebaggery I can consult?

Now I’m a bit worried that the barista is going to get some blowback on this. I mean they used a fake name, but if Starbucks can track down the jerkface customer, it’s a short hop to figure out who the server is. I’d rather not see them get fired because some corporate tool doesn’t like it when the wage slaves vent…

Didn’t we establish that the minimum balance on a starbucks card is $5? *Checks* Yes, yes we did.

I am delighted to learn that this is a real thing.

Oh to be in the room when they told Diana the baby’s name

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Stop trying to make your boring ass babies cool with my last name.”

Brb, writing a post about secret menus. I just want to watch the world burn Pinkham vomit blood.

Look, if people want to clock out early, that’s their choice as a sapient being. But please, please, please, whatever way you do it, make sure you aren’t going to be putting other people’s lives in danger.

actually if you bring ME somewhere and give me a coloring book i will also be quiet and well-behaved.

My daughter is usually amazing at restaurants. She "talks" now, so she's a bit noisier than she used to be, but she's normally an angel. Even my in-laws were able to take her to a an expensive hibachi/sushi place and they received glowing appreciation of my daughter's behavior. Even servers have gone out of their way…