This mascot was developed after someone ate a MUSHROOM MUSHROOM.

So I should just cancel my ratchet belt order? How DISRUPTIVE can belt technology become before I just go for suspenders?

So I should just cancel my ratchet belt order? How DISRUPTIVE can belt technology become before I just go for…

I did notice that, even your body was fighting the motion. So it was some anonymous “senior Deadspin official” then who plotted against you. TREASON?

What kind of person hangs their clothes so that the hook faces out? 

Already got my ticket! Is it BYOBear or will bears be provided? Will there be opportunities to take a bear home at the end like some kind of murderous table centerpiece? 

I was worried the jokes might have been a little flat.

No ratchet belt? Clearly this guy is missing BIG 2018 TRENDS your beltsmith doesn’t want you to know about!

Well that was a deflating reply.

Straddling an electrified fence is wrong on both sides.

There’s at least one Tom Brady joke in here somewhere.

I’m still amazed he can walk, period. I would have aggressively expired on the field. Just a pile of uniform behind home plate with a screaming Force ghost next to it. Yadi is a freak.

I am ashamed with how loudly I HA!’d at this. Take your damn star.

Yadier Molina saw metal band Strangled Testicle in concert and was unimpressed.

This is the reason I never do ANYTHING.

hot take alert: No Man’s Sky > Fortnite

Bears, Deadcast, Drew and Roth, in Chicago??? COUNT ME IN FAM!

I’ve got the NMS Xbox version, 4.1 Bil units, an S-class freighter, a 46-slot hauler, and a desire to put my ~200 hours post-NEXT to good use. How can I get in touch and contribute?

The spinning of an object – be it a Rotor Sail or a basketball – drags air around it as it spins. That creates an area of lower pressure on one side of the object, which pulls the object forward.

And here I thought after reading these stories that his pet peeve was having friends with normal-ass names. Meet a Bill, Bert!

This is some stupid shit, but if it was the stupidest shit on the internet I think the bigger story would be that Twitter finally banned Trump.