Twas a bad day to be orange. 

Saying this as a Dutch person: your comment really made me lol.

They need stronger dykes. I kid, I kid

The floodgates opened up after that.

As a Sonics fan, watching Russ all alone and sad this year is gonna be great. 

Oh, so both his kids are prone to turnovers.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Not sure anything is ever found alive in the LA river. 

Correction: Lead photo is at Boeing Field (aka King County).

Everybody remember: we’re in the Itchy Lot.

Insider’s look at the trade negotiations:

She’s scoring a lot of points, but averages less than an assist per game. I’m sure her coaches would like to encourage her to spread the ball around more, but she’s probably not used to having teammates who are also capable of scoring. Therefore, Han shoots first.

I was in Seattle for a couple of weeks at the start of this season and let me tell you people were confused. 13-2???

a surprising number of Mariners fans (who should have known better)

To be fair, the Mariners ran up a really good record over the first twenty games. They were so good that a surprising number of Mariners fans (who should have known better) even believed that this could be a real thing when, in reality, the team just fell back to earth like they always do.

The guy from Korn really is a triple threat.

These aren’t mutually exclusive, you judgmental ass. And i was trying to generate a bit of dark humor, but since that was obviously lost on you, let’s examine, shall we?

“Hey, Steve, how did the man who survived pancreatic cancer through homeopathy cross the road? Give up? In a coffin. Because he’s dead. You get it? Steve? Steve? Where are you going? I’ve got more jokes.”

Back in the early 90's the Sonics would fly a remote control blimp around the arena that would drop prize envelopes on fans. I once caught/won an envelope that gave me a really cool book on the history of the Sonics. Squatch at that time was also launching t-shirts via bungee. Seems silly, but I have never forgotten…

I was then rushed to another hospital for surgery, where doctors removed a piece of my skull, drained the rogue blood, implanted a small galaxy in my brain to make sure my opinions remain suitably vast, put the hunk of skull back in, and also drilled a hole in the TOP of my head to relieve the pressure. They also…