Oh, I just know Danny Glover's too old for this shit.

Vodka goggles always got me into trouble.

I know Aniston is in hot water for this, but is it okay to use 'retarded' to describe Momma Grizzly?

@Pelirojita: She's fantastic—but too young for that part.

And what they should get is thrown into an incinerator. That's what they should get.

If my gf vatooed her va-jay-jay, I'm pretty sure friction could not be avoided.

Oh, Shakira—how I love thee.

Good stuff. I would gladly volunteer to be a guard on the trains just to whack pervs with a giant stick. But, you know, no boys allowed. I'm glad to see the country taking measures to protect the girls.

There's too many kids out there who need parents for me to even consider this option.

Cuh-ray-zee.

Only in America could we come up with something that won't harm the environment, but will damage your hearing. Bravo!

@pettiblay: Not that there's anything wrong with shady broads.

@zomgzombies: And it pulled a signal like no one's business.

@KamWrex: Worst. Keypad. Ever.

@llamalounge: The moral of this story: do not operate cell phones while drinking. Heavily.

@bobbobato: I rather dig them.

Sprint's 2002 3G network was surprisingly un-3G-like. I had the Samsung a500.

Good for you, you little bastard.

s t bd tht dn't gv crp bt Ghn?

Is it any wonder I absolutely refuse to give money to my local police department?