I cod not help but have my trouts, Kate. I f-eel like salmon is catfishing you.

Wait wait wait...you think, after the wedding, you stop getting in trouble for having your own opinions, or sharing her opinion? You are ADORABLE.

Weird, because this article is about him putting games on TV, so seems like he didn’t keep his dumbass promise to his dumbass dad.

I feel kind of bad for Wirtz and his team—all that deliberate dickishness toward fans, and Vision still ended up being only the second-most annoying Hawk on Chicago sports TV.

He ripped them off everywhere he could think to do it, and then invented new ways as necessary.

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I’m mostly offended at the idea of drinking beer out of a straw.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t that play. It was on the next Giants possession when Eli accidentally hit him with an errant pass that came through the medical tent.

Twitter is giving me the lowlights. Feel bad for the reporter tho. He’s not speaking in his native tongue and isn’t covering the right kind of football.

Having the sick impulse to call the cops, from the site of one of the worst flood disasters in American history, to report victims of that flood for looting a supermarket; but also: a crime

What kinda titties you think you’re gonna be getting for 10k each. Bad titties, that’s what

Cumin on breasts is wonderful.

If he played the game the wrong way and didn’t run out the pop-up, he have been safe on first.

I think the impact knocked a few vowels out of his name.

Or “sober.”

The way the season is going, it would probably go into his eye.

🎼Meet the Mets, beat the Mets, step right up and skeet the Mets 🎼

Lucas Giolito ... doesn’t even crack the top five here.

that was a great trade tim stfu and stick to beating off