This is why Trump doesn’t venture out past his resort properties and Klan rallies.

Is it like a Pez dispenser, does it just keep spitting out tires?

This is legit boomer brain that comes from consuming 12+ hours of TV a day. I have family who leave the TV on constantly (literally always in the background when they’re home) and they can not focus on one topic for any period of time. They’ll ask you a question and when you’re in the middle of answering, they’ll just…

This read like a article in an anthropological journal about some uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. 

Do the Patriots play the Raiders this season? So Burfict can mutter "and I am Iron Man" before concussing Brown with an egregious helmet-to-helmet hit?

Wait, is that Father Terry from Boston?

Car Talk taught me the importance of accurately replicating mechanical noises when describing a problem...and I don’t think their contribution to modern dad joke technology can be understated.

I never really “got” Car Talk as a kid, much to the surprise of the adults in my life. I was a little car nut from Massachusetts, after all. And my dad loved it. But this story closes a lot of loops for me.

We all know who to root for...

Just a horrible, senseless tragedy.

They also both have a tic of sort of pounding on their thighs before a point to get pumped up.

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

finally an answer to the eternal hockey question of whether a good center makes his wings great, or vice versa

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

“Everybody wishes they could be healthy all the time,” said Tom Brady. “It is a contact sport and he’s certainly had his fair share of injuries, so guys retire at different times. I’m sure Luck’s choice of retiring now in the height of nightshade season is coincidental. Maybe he’s just dehydrated.”

I don’t dispute any of that at all. But even as bad as he’s been, both in the locker room and on the court, he was the best big on the market, no? I mean Noah could do this too, but he hates LeBron James with a passion. Presumably Davis and LeBron signed off on this. If there’s a whiff of a problem you can let him go,…

A non-guaranteed deal seems nuts for Howard and actually very shrewd for the lakers. For Howard, it not only means if you make a bad joke after a loss and Davis gets pissed at you, you’re gone, but if you tweak a knee two weeks in, youre gone, all with zero dollars. For Pelinka/LeBron, it’s win win all the way. If it…

Dwight: I swear I’m not crippled and I’m super depressed about my career.