Don’t get me wrong, I like the Cryptkeeper and all, but can I request a change to the Jerry Burns Memorial Lock of the Week? Halloween is done, Drew is a Vikings fan, and I always enjoy more swearing in this blog whenever possible.

I can’t be the only one stunned that Merril Hoge WROTE A DAMN BOOK! I mean I know he probably didn’t actually do much (any) of the writing, but presumably, he had to contribute something, right?

I actually think Manny Machado would be the perfect fit for this team. The White Sox desperately need an infusion of personality and Sox fans would both completely embrace his villainy and endlessly complain about his lack of hustle. With the impending fire sale in Cleveland, AL Central could be wide open...

Brought his own cocktail I guess.

400 lbs.

This would have made a great Coors Light commercial:

He can’t report guys - he’s stuck in the Upside Down!

He’s like a dumber version of Roger Goodell.  Dumber but vastly more dangerous.

Sick bjurns kid.

There’s a Happy Gilmore GIF for every occasion

The team’s coach, Omar Little, had no comment at this time.

Oh god, the “Who Dez” chants are going to be insufferable

This is true. I guess I’m saying I don’t know if their chances of surpassing the Sox or Yankees will be better in 5 years, so run it back, hope you get lucky again, spend on players late for a playoff push and roll the dice.  

Cue the theme music:

What’s wrong with putting the best team possible out there, trying to win your division, and hoping for some luck? Don’t they at least owe that to their fans and paying customers? Yes, the A’s got bounced early this year but they were a ton of fun and probably the best team in the second half. If the worst case is…

My wife brought home some mini-chicken sausages for the kids to snack on and I started in on the “Snausages” catchphrase (the old doggie treats). Now they ask for “Snausages” and do the nasally dog voice too - I’m very proud.

I use 80's catch phrases and commercial jingles with my kids all the time and they have no idea what I’m talking about. Then I pull up the old commercial or PSA on YouTube to show them and they are thoroughly unimpressed. Man, right now I’m hankerin’ for a hunk of cheese.

Tatum is a really good shooter and will likely be a great player long term, but he needs to stop passing up open jumpers - especially those ones above the arc when he waits for a defender to come up before dribbling into the midrange for a more difficult look.  I’ve watched every Celtics game this year and most of…

Expansion is dumb - we need better games (read shorter and more entertaining) and more engaged fanbases, not more teams and more interminable games. In my old age, I can barely sit through an inning or two without some kind of distraction or flipping channels. Apart from the odd game here or there on a random weekend…