I feel like SJP is using that eyeliner/small eye combo to distract us from something else on her face.

Ahhh, I am living for the day that the FBI has to execute a pre dawn raid at the White House and Trump is perp-walked off the premises.

Damn...

“Becky’s Bites” isn’t so bad. Maybe they have free wifi?

*then brags on Twitter about how he’s way better at crimestopping than the police, posts video as proof.

Police: “Freeze!”

But being unaware of the law doesn’t free you of the consequences of breaking it. I didn’t realize you had to drive for 100 yards in a lane before changing to another lane, but the ticket I paid and the point on my car insurance are the consequences for breaking that law.

Why is Fallon so scared? Does he think these animals are going to breathalyze him?

John Oliver observed that he sits on every chair like it’s a toilet. And it’s true - he really does look like he’s taking a dump everywhere he goes!

Can someone teach Trump HOW TO SIT ON A GODDDAMN CHAIR?!?

She’ll always just be Propaganda Barbie to me.

Dear Kellyanne,

Pretty disgusted with her cutesy “Kellyanne Conoway” name. I’d prefer “Shitspew McGarbageface.

Safe to assume he’s the new Fyre Festival headliner for 2018?

It’s a pick your poison type issue. Would you rather get stabbed in the neck or shot in the head?

All started when he called Planned Parenthood part of the “establishment.” He doesn’t give a fuck about women’s healthcare.

This is EXACTLY why I didn’t trust Bernie from day 1.

I admire Pence for coming up with this common sense solution to a very real problem.

Isn’t he plugging the product of a for-profit business entity in that tweet?

I, for one, was NOT rooting for you, Tomi.