I’m sure there’s a couple Mavericks employees who could describe, in incredibly graphic detail, exactly what Noel did to himself.

My family was in Germany during the war and their strategy of keeping their heads down and hoping it would pass didn’t work. By 1945 most of the homes and the family business had been bombed into the ground and most of the men had died or disappeared in Russia.

I sleep well at night knowing I won’t have to explain to my grandkids someday that I was one of the good Germans.

5. Do the Right Thing.

Curt Schilling, commenting from his basement: Oh so ESPN is fine with a black guy calling a white guy “boy”, but when a white conservative does it—

Mookies RANKED:

Imagine how often they would have to bleep out the N word if this game was at Fenway.

Sure but Yates was only in there because Tom Savage continued to play through two concussions in two games

Texans Sign Brandon Weeden Because They Learned Nothing and realize that the majority of their fan base is also racist and upsetting the cows in the feed lot would be unsound business.

Learned nothing? Just a few weeks ago they vowed not to sign anybody who kneeled for the flag, and look at them now!

The most NFL thing I’ve ever seen on Wikipedia (from Heinicke’s page):

DeShaun Watson may be the only person in America to have a worse back up than Donald Trump.

Fixed.

Could be worse. *checks notes* No, no it couldn’t.

Leicester City. That answer is always Leicester City. For any league that has a playoff, it is impossible to have a less likely result than Leicester City.

Me too.

Things I thought I’d never see in a Deadspin post: The byline “Senior Kentucky Correspondent” and the word “vituperation.” 

To be honest, I’d take the trust fund over a statue any day.

Call me a contrarian, but seppuku feels like a more apt word than tanking.

I’ll just go ahead and get this out of the way: