Or me!

Ridiculous. Lou Holtz doesn’t speak English at all.

I’m pretty sure he died of cancer. There was a whole movie about it- Ryan’s Vogelsong.

. . . unless you go deep into the Ohio State corners of the internet . . . .

Hey now.

Rae Carruth’s gotta be looking at at least eight games, no?

He’s eligible to play this week, right?

Make Football Great Again

Roger Goodell sounds like our next president... :(

Roger Goodell just handed you a 4-game suspension for questioning the integrity of the league offices. THE SHIELD WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.

I’m late to the Office Space reference party. I said no salt!

To be fair, when he is deciding on punishments for league infractions, he does use his “jump” to conclusions mat quite well.

He has people skills! He’s good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!

He once worked for the Jets. He had any competence surgically removed to do so.

Well, he’s more on the business side... wait, he never ran a business. Uhh... well, for legal questions... wait, he doesn’t have a law degree. Umm... well, you see...

The Browns are the franchise equivalent of a sudden, jarring realization that your life has been completely wasted up to this point, and will never be getting any better before you die.

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Thank god for Ryan Howard. I heard they were gonna move the Isotopes to Moose Jaw before he got there.

‘Topes win! ‘Topes win!