Whoremongery!

What do you want to bet the superstitions about Macbeth started because the actors got tired of Scots complaining "it wasn't like that!" every time the name came up?

Yeah, I have no idea how to constructively defuse accusations like this, because if we're really that powerful, why are you even talking about this? Aren't you afraid an unmarked car smelling vaguely of pastrami and Manischewitz will pull up and take you away?

Having spent time haggling with both Soros and the Kochs' foundations, the idea that there's some massive pool of unlimited money they're drawing from is still pretty frustrating to me.

I'm probably gonna have the damn thing in my head from now through next week.

And by the 22nd, we'll be back to tossing it in water to see if it floats.

Nobodies looks…I'm not sure I'm prepared to call it good, but ambitious in a way I don't associate with TV Land.

Tzatzki sounds surprisingly good.

I'll see that and raise you Philadelphians and their goddamned cheesesteaks. If I have to sit through one more rant from my husband about how it's not legit if it's not an Amoroso roll, I'm putting mayonnaise on all of mine in protest.

You don't order drinks that look like someone broke open half a dozen lava lamps and stirred in some cotton candy if you're not comfortable drawing attention to yourself.

Oh, good, it's not just me.

Yeah, I'm going to shoot down any theories involving Pod being an evil mastermind right now. Kid can't even remember to saddle the horses properly half the time.

Someone's gotta be able to dig up that Donald Grump Muppet.

First of all, the Easter Egg Roll is way less about helping out kids than giving the White House some feel-good publicity and giving the folks who are able to get tickets without going through the lottery something to brag about. Secondly, what exactly do you think the Muppets are going to be able to do to make…

Dunham at least makes some savvy charity choices along with her apologies. That couldn't hurt here.

But he's Communicator of the Year!

Big nonprofits are capable of major screwups, though. I still can't believe Susan G. Komen thought they could get away with "let's tweak our grants process specifically to exclude Planned Parenthood and hope no one notices."

Or to quote John Dickinson in 1776, "most men with nothing would rather protect the possibility of becoming rich than face the reality of being poor."

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, holds aloft an original cast recording of A Chorus Line.

We were on a dance break!