@southernbelle: Amen. I feel like it's really life changing when you're 15 because it's so energetic and sexual. And then it's just kind of tired, and it gets worse and worse with age.

@LilyHammer: I feel sorry for Taylor. She's kind of meandering and lost, and her husband is a turd but she really doesn't seem to have any skills to be successful on her own, so she's kinda stuck with him.

@LilyHammer: I have very strong opinions about the housewives. Like, embarassingly strong.

Do I watch them all? Yes. Will I watch Miami? Yes. However, my life would be much simpler and better if we were on a rotation (no overlapping) of Orange County, New York, Atlanta and Beverly Hills. With each season being 12 weeks, plus one or two reunion shows, it would be a perfect, year-round, seasonal cycle.

@karmasutra är svensk: Fuckin' kids and their weak legs.

Cuuuuuute! The little boy I nannied until about two weeks ago looooooved to use his little rake and shovel to clear snow. He called it "shubblin," and we liked to shubble together (I preferred it to sledding because I didn't have to carry/pull him up a big hill several times).

@mbprice: Oh. You're right. Wasn't paying attention. Do you think she would've been honest about this scheme if it had all fallen apart?

I was born in 1988. After a string of really bad dates with college classmates, I turned to the internet and set my sights on some older men. I had always been interested in old (like, 50s-70s) music, but decided to bone up on my 80s and 90s music and movies knowledge. It really impresses gen-xers that I can sing…

Pfft, that photo of passed out Gaga doesn't even look like her.

@punsandpretensions: Expect upcoming tweets about upholstery.

I have some like these. They're mens boots, mostly because I have big feet and I find mens styles to be more functional anyway.

@UrineToxicated: Nope. Always have a little switchblade in my purse, pocket, or boot. Mace, too, if I'll be out alone at night. That stays at the ready in my right hand coat pocket.

Yes, but what does Jackie Jormp-Jomp carry in her purse?

@throwdetta: My (large) university student helpline goes one further. It tells callers what position they're in in the queue to be answered ("You are now eighth in line. Your estimated wait time is fourteen minutes."). Brilliant.

"Saying that women are harassed because we wore what we wanted, we ‘asked for it' gives men sexual autonomy but doesn't give us sexual autonomy. This is a double standard."

@Peppermint: My slammer was clearn resin with a baby scorpion inside it. COOLEST EVAR.

@iambu: We had those at the toy store where I worked last year. They. Were. The. Shit. I bought the little set of tools for my boyfriend (he's a mechanic), then ended up attaching little magnets to them so they could be on our fridge all the time. I also have the sushi, and was eyeing the desserts. I was…

@BostonsRbest: Oh, word up to the financial transactions tax point you made. It's ridiculous how miniscule the taxes on stock trades, dividends income, etc. (basically, non-wage income) are. RIDICULOUS, I SAY.

@BearDownCBears: BearDown for president!

@Girl-With-A-Pearl-Earring: While part of it is probably that yes, younger animals are preferable because they're more active, I like to think that the old gorillas are in retirement habitats because they need additional care that a zoo staff just can't provide. Maybe the retirement habitat is awesomely calm and full…