And we're safe. First three rows are all NOT rock/pop musicians. However, my doppelgänger is seated two rows ahead of me. She saw me and was startled, too. So freaky flight for entirely different reason.

I am so curious as to how this turns out.

I am currently waiting to board a Southwest flight and I am eyeballing the hell out of some suspiciously dressed white dudes with so.much.hair traveling together. NOOOO.

Barely related: My bf taught his cat how to open doors and it's ruining my life. There are few things worse than a cat clawing your leg during foreplay and then yowling and opening the door during sex.

Also no inflight proposals, no safety demonstrations choreographed to overplayed Top 40 hits, and, for the love of God, no "raps" OF ANY KIND, ON ANY SUBJECT, from any members of the flight crew. Ever.

NOPE

There should be an airline for people who don't care about gimmicks. I don't want to rush to fight for a seat. I don't want to hear anyone singing on my plane. I don't want social seating. Reasonable fares, comprehensible fees, on time service, and as much quiet as can be reasonably expected from a large group of…

I tried to play a game: do a shot every time a commenter on this post accused me of being from New York.

It's actually a teensy wood stake through the lab rat's heart, to make sure it doesn't rise again at an inconvenient time. They only use the left side of the carcass for this, as the right side is saved for pizza toppings. That's why both...things have the wooden stakes: two rats gave their all for St Louis cuisine.

OK, I'm from DC, so I know Maryland's regional cuisine very, very well. I love Maryland's regional cuisine; crab cakes and especially crab dip are fantastic (and crab pretzels are basically manna).

Well, Mr. Pinkham, you were right.

Last time Gawker did a post about Olive Garden there was a large thread of very angry people insisting that they had experienced the best Italian food available in both Italy and New York, so they could say FOR A FACT that the (literally!) frozen/microwaved crap Olive Garden serves is every bit as delicious and…

Why would a sandwich need a skin graft? Unless you burned the hell out of it. This is unholy and should never be spoken of again.

Counterpoint:

I know people who prefer Olive Garden to really good Italian food. Doesn't mean I think their opinion matters.

It always makes me laugh that people assume I'm from New York or have ever lived there just because I write for this website. In this case, it's doubly hilarious because NONE of us are from there — and actually, all of us outed where we're from during the post itself.

For real thought these were skin grafts.

Next up on Kitchenette: Gawker staff and select readers are going to be sent to St. Louis to sample the local cuisine.

Aghhhh. It puts the lotion on its skin.

I tried this over the weekend using the Kylie Jenner method and it was very weird. Like it did make my lips look huge and pretty but it was only convincing from a distance. Up close it looked clownish. Like I couldn't make myself leave the house with it on.