I have a friend who is really struggling with the Southern event conundrum. She is an only grandchild on both sides of her family and wants her elderly grandparents to be able to be at her wedding, so it has to be in our hometown, which is super small. Her options for a wedding for 100+ people location are Catholic…

My daughter got this book called "Yig and Yog The Happy Cats". It is the dumbest, worst fucking book I have ever had the displeasure of suffering through. It is worse than a 30 page Strawberry Shortcake novelization I had to read as a nanny. It is worse than the last chapter of the Da Vinci code. It is so vapid…

My husband's meat grinder (that's what she said). I made these falafels which I have been trying to perfect for years. Who knew the secret was grinding the chickpeas instead of food processing?!

This is especially funny considering the temperature of the water in the Channel is around -3642 degrees. Everyone on British beaches except small children is wearing wetsuits generally. It could get really NSFW if he experiences too much shrinkage...

My husband (whose mother is a child protection social worker) has been very concerned about this with our two-year-old. Willy is widely used here for penis, and she caught on pretty fast with that. In the end, she asked about her "bottom" vs her "front" and when I tried to explain, she said "I call it 'gina." Okay…

Have you seen this one? It's my favourite.

The CLOTS! Oh, sweet Jesus. I had a womb infection as well, so it smelled like a cheese factory, and I was so feverish and out of it, I thought I was dying.

When I got hooked up to Pitocin, I told the doctor to please give me all the antiemetics they had. I had spent six months with Hyperemesis, so she happily doped me up and said I'd done enough puking for one pregnancy. Angel!

Anytime I hear the words "anesthesia stopped working" I feel like throwing up. You win.

I went into premature labor 8 weeks early with my wee girl. They managed to stop it with drugs, but for some reason, I got what only one midwife described as "irritable uterus." I was doubled over with contractions every time I moved, peed, got dehydrated, drank too much, ate too much. Basically everything gave me…

My seven-year-old self would have cried an ocean of tears to wear this particular dress (or many of the others). Hell, I would wear it now. Giant paillettes are pretty cool even if the overall aesthetic is cringeworthy.

Don't you worry you're dancing
It's his birthday
Give him what he ask for

As someone who paid for a whole year of university on a MAO scholarship, I would like for the continued descent of the pageant into something as close to Eurovision as possible. This is getting there.

It's called Chinese Whispers in England too (Telephone in America), and that's exactly what I thought. Anna Wintour would definitely know the play on words being British.

At a party where all my family and friends met my husband for the first time, he didn't realize American toilets shouldn't be flushed when they are blocked. So, he flooded my parents' house and my dad had to use a rubber glove to extract a giant turd from their toilet. THEN, he had to show his face in front of a…

And how come there is no mother-son equivalent in the culture that wouldn't be mocked relentlessly? If dads should "date their daughters" how come no one ever tells mothers to "date their sons?

This is always an appropriate response. I've been cutting onions for lasagna...for one.

As someone who watches Ustream puppy/kitten livestream when depressed or anxious, I wholeheartedly approve.