Hey! How about a little NSFW warning before sending to my desktop monitor a big picture of a model’s moist lips on a dickhead?

Expect ‘THE CURSE OF THE WASHED AWAY CHALK’ to be a thing if the Cubs lose in the NLDS next year

There’s a trench between the tracks that’s specifically there for you to lay in. The train will pass right over you and leave you relatively unharmed.

What kind of snake it is? The TERRIFYING kind, duh. The kind that slithers out of a damn luggage compartment mid flight, thereby ensuring you are scarred for life and have a winning story to tell at next year’s spooky story contest.

Two things: (1) suits were cut bigger in the 1980s circa Wall Street, which is where Donald and his sons take their fashion cues; and (2) he thinks it hides his gathering mass over the years.

I think it’s a combo of trying to hide his misshapen body but still wanting to be comfortable. A thicker fabric would be more flattering, but it’d be hotter and stiffer. But I don’t think the problem is just his pants either. His jackets are always too loose and flimsy looking.

This is a good point. Add in some extra time for jumping over rats.

Guy’s pants don’t fit properly. That seems to happen a lot with his clothing, what’s the deal with that?

some of the best sex I’ve ever had has been on futons!

A beautiful woman, who’s specialty involves standing still for long periods of time, saying nothing, holding a case with pretend money.
This has to be Trump’s dream girl.

Jesus, this, next to terrorism, is my biggest fear in NYC. I always stand far back from the yellow line when the train is coming in and try to stand near a pillar (because I think that I could grab onto it. I probably couldn’t. But. You know).

The 49ers move one step closer to, “There’s nothing in the rulebook that says a dog CAN’T play football!”

This is the best version of the Kaepernick kneeling joke I’ve seen yet. Bravo.

Don’t know what to say when our best play is a penalty and our QB takes the victory kneel before the game.

Agreed. There are enough comically horrible things that this person says and does - that’s more than a lifetime of fodder for ridicule.

If we’re judging how a person looks as a measure for politicians, then we wind up with Reality TV personalities running for office instead of serious public servants. And goodness…

I agree. There’s so much shit to address with this guy that just making fun of his appearance kinda belittles the point that he’d be an awful skinny guy too.

You only have a day left with these. Make ‘em good.

100% real. Sickening, isn’t it?

I’m going to sound like one of those feminists without a sense of humor in 3, 2, 1....

Don’t worry, folks. This is just the guy that Donald Trump has chosen to staff his administration. You know...