Agreed. They were so young, they likely had zero say in their participation in the original, so I applaud the twins’ decision to say, “We’re bajillionaires. Pass.”

I heard a rumour that Rihanna is on the verge of bankruptcy and now I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about her finances.

I shouldn’t have to share this planet with asswipes who lack compassion, but here we are.

Dudes. I have known that my friend’s husband has been cheating on her for over six months, but everything I’ve read tells me I need to keep my mouth shut about it. They have two kids. The situation is shitty on so many levels.

I LOVE AIDY AND I DON’T CARE IF THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT.

Yeah! Quit misunderestimating Dubya’s bro!

He’s such a dick, I’m having a difficult time answering this question objectively.

I’m so old the Internet didn’t exist during the height of my anxiety and I had to look up my symptoms in a book.

This is a weird and wonderful idea. I'm all in.

Hot nerds with big dongs FTW. I landed mine over a decade ago and it was a GOOD LIFE DECISION. A GOOD LIFE DECISION OF CAPS LOCK PROPORTIONS.

If I were running for president, my platform would be “Make America More Like Vancouver.”

Yoko’s making sense to me again :/

I haven’t slept in two days and Ricky Martin just changed my life.

I like the parenting style that helps soothe upsetting situations with dark (chocolate) comedy. I also approve of using milk (chocolate) comedy in a pinch.

I don’t know if it’s her or me, but lately I’ve been finding myself nodding in agreement with the Yoko’s tweets.

Okay, Lenny, stay right where you are and let’s just swap out that guitar for me.

I would have sex with that cunt.

“Nothing ever happens on Mars...”

Shall we make fun of Ryan Reynolds, who is trying just a little too hard?

Yes, I WILL marry you, Jessica Chastain. And that kitty will be our ring bearer.