I would really enjoy a regular follow up column to this one called “NAILED IT” where we all post pictures of our attempts. I’m sure mine for one would provide quite a bit of amusement.

Feminish. Said like Sean Connery.

Oh, Pitbull can get it. I find tough guys who dress well (see also: Terry Crews) incredibly attractive. Not Shia so much for me - not because he’s not attractive, just because I can’t see him as anything other than “Even Stevens” kid.

Femininism.

Pssst. I listen to Pitbull’s Spanish rap albums.

Also, ladies, PUT DOWN THE TWEEZERS.

Maureen Dowd AND Whitney Cummings?

More fun would be a movie about her pot experience in Colorado last year.

Looks like a Ring Pop.

I finally get to use this gif.

If the auction winner doesn’t use this as the prism in some kind of death ray as part of a megalomaniacal plot for world domination, I will be disappointed.

I would not, could not, in the rain. Not in the dark. Not on a train, Not in a car, Not in a tree. I would not do him, Ellie, you see. Not in a house. Not in a box. Not next to a mouse. Or near a fox. I would not do him here or there. I would not do him anywhere!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD. HE IS MY CRUSH AS WELL. I don’t know why I am yelling but I JUST LOVE ME SOME PITBULL!

Slip ‘n’ Slide

please rap on my vag

SLOW AND LABORIOUS RAPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sweet, Southern Belle mama randomly started waxxing poetic (I like to spell ‘waxing’ with two x’s, to make it semi naughty) one day about how she likes “that Pitbull”. She says things like that. About random famous people. Just, out of nowhere. Says she likes them. People like Pitbull (who I would definitely do,…

Welcome to Would U?, an academic forum in which I share my gross crush of the week and ask if you, too, would bang that person.

How about I said what I said for a reason.