I would dispute that his *entire* 80s output is subpar schlock; it’s just that what was better didn’t get nearly as much attention as the hits.

If it ever went down, the vast majority of the gun-fondlers are either gonna sit it out, actively support the oppression, or use it as an opportunity to kill black people.

Editors: This is a perfect example of why you shouldn't pay writers by the word.

I headed off this problem by making it quite clear to Miz Whiplash that I was a fuckwit *before* we got married.

>$800 worth of vibrators.

Based on my shopping for said toys, that doesn’t actually sound like all that many vibrators. 

Shit like this is why I’m convinced that if anyone can pull off a “Twilight Zone” reboot, it’s Jordan Peele. The man is just a little...well...twisted.

All this for want of the forethought to rent a fucking $10/month safety deposit box.  

Here’s a clip of someone doing it with a weather balloon:

Oh, that's Decemuly.

That’s okay, I’ll gladly trade missing a super-long lunar eclipse for having two total solar eclipses in a 7-year stretch, and at least one more (2045) before I'm likely to check out.

Kenny G is “respectable” music for bougie white folks to have dinner and fuck to.

I don’t know from anything, but that picture of Stamos’ baby is one of the most wonderful things I’ve seen.

I’d just like to say that I not only love your assessment of the repellent turd-in-a-human-suit that is Dinesh D’Souza, but the fact that you used a Dylan Moran GIF.

Whatever.

As a white, suburban middle-class man, shit like this makes me think that vigilante citizens’ patrols are needed.

She has a hard time getting off with any other method, and only rarely had orgasms before we got vibrators.

She had expressed interest in having some toys, but was a bit inhibited about shopping for/buying one, so she asked if I could figure it out, and I did. She started occasionally using it during sex, and…

Two things, from an hoping-you-don’t-mind, hopefully-helpful male perspective:

If you have/obtain a Magic Wand, I heartily recommend attachments (especially penetrating ones) to go with. Miz Whiplash gets lots of good mileage out of hers, both with me and on her own (it’s fun when she lets me use it on her - I get the…

To be pedantic, it’s “Countdown To Looking Glass.” Pretty grim all on its own.

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But remember, kids - it’s just a few bad apples.