I would commit suicide before I spent $600 for “the privilege” of driving a Versa.

Several years ago, I used to make Thanksgiving dinner from scratch the night before, pack it all up and drive 4.5 hours to my Father-in-law’s house Thanksgiving day, reheat everything, and serve it on my wife’s parent’s “good china” in their dining room. FIL would always complain about the amount of mess, garbage,…

Once you move and reside in Florida, you become a Floridaman. I grew up in VT and now live in Broward. Florida isn’t just a state, it’s a state of mind.

Why did the investigation take this long? It’s on fucking video. There he is. There is his penis. There he is jerkin’ the gerkin’.

My favorite engine. The only thing you failed to mention is they are 50% air-cooled. When re-powering a yacht to 4 strokes, you need to double the cooling capacity for the new engines. Engineered like a Rolex watch.

They never say in the contract that they will deny your claims every time or shortchange you on the repair costs or give you the runaround if you try to make a claim.

I admit I stick with the big boys only because I would worry about them not covering a claim. I used Progressive and got a glass chip fixed for no cost. Previously, I used the lawyers at Geico to go after somebody else’s insurance company when they hit my wife’s parked car. I don’t know if The General would do either…

I too change insurance every two years. I alternate between Geico, Progressive and State Farm.

We also take our kids out to dinner for good report cards. We used to let the kid who got better grades pick the restaurant, but since they both do pretty well, we alternate.

I’m still waiting since 1992 for Ross Denny to place people in my downleg so I can start making that sweet cash selling prepaid phone cards and cellphones.

The last time I bobbed for apples was in my 3rd grade Halloween party. The teacher used mealy-ass Red Delicious school lunch apples. I refused to get my face wet for anything less than a McIntosh. We were in VT for Christ’s sake!

I may be mistaken, but I think VT is decriminalized only, no legal sales. Gottaa go over the border to MA if you don’t have a medical card.

The ole Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookie to me can’t be beat. My kids like the almond sugar cookies I make but I can’t give away my Grandmother’s recipe chewy molasses cookies (which means they are all for me!).

I would love to read a story where you passed on buying seven $500 pieces of shit and instead found a decent vehicle for $3,500 and took it it a reputable mechanic for a pre-purchase inspection before buying it.

This is a sub-$2k winter beater. The cloth seats won’t be hard plastic when you jump in on -5 degree days. Better yet, start it up and let it sit at the curb running with the heater blasting so it’s toasty warm when you get in.

Tom Hanks went crazy after playing Dungeons & Dragons.

My Dad owned both the first year (a 1975 with a inline six and three-on-the-tree) and the last year (1991 E-250/350 with a 5.0 and AOD) of the van in the story. Hell of a run.

I think the warped bumper is a design feature to allow you reach under the grille to open the hood. We used to use almost the exact same car off my friend’s used car lot as a golfmobile.

An astute guess.

“Harvard graduate”