Moped 2.0

My parents favorite line with my brother, “You don’t have to eat it. Next meal is breakfast.”

“I see you bought a Ford Focus. Is a Nissan Versa OK?”

Everytime I see her I only remember “Ass to ass!’

Before traveling, don’t forget to install a seat protector between the car seat and your interior (like a weathertech mat) to catch any spilled “liquids”.

The only way I would pay that price for that truck is if it had a .50 cal poking out of the roof.

Hard cider isn’t White People Food if you live near apple orchards. It’s “I’m gonna stash a couple of gallons under the workbench until they nearly explode so me and friends can get drunk on fizzy alcohol beverages.”

Between not eating out and the four of us home for all 3 meals, we are going to wear out our dishwasher before these challenging times are over

Cheaper and in every color, with all the HD accessories installed to boot

I think the door handle were sourced from an Australian Ford LTD. (See “BMX Bandits - my favorite Nicole Kidman movie.)

I use the same method with 1/2" box wrenches and 10mm sockets.

I usually leave when I see ankle monitors. Yes, someone was shot . There have been many fights.

Also, they have been sneaking in price increases for years by keeping the price the same, but reducing the quantity bought. With few exceptions (Pilon), when was the last time you saw a retail 1lb. package of coffee?

I would let my kids attend a party there if it was before noon. After that, around here, they’d be more likely to get shot by some gangbanger parent who has beef with his baby mamas.

Call me when I can’t smell you have a cat shitting in a box in your house.

Chevy Malibu rental cars

If we’re splitting hairs, the country did elect the son of Hitler’s banker.

I sure don’t want to get stuck with one of those U-Hauls used for storing dead bodies in NYC. They need to burn those.

I Das Boot would be better.

This vote is just window dressing. They been able looking at your search history, listening to any of your phone calls and reading your emails since 9/11.