Nah.

Good one, Mrs. Clinton.

You can replicate the experience by cooking your own breakfast with a Marlboro hanging off your lip with a 3" ash over your food.

I’ve never ridden a Greyhound bus with a human shit in the middle of the floor.

I’d buy this dumb story if he said his tea cost $30 extra.

I change my auto insurance about every 2-3 years. I never have a claim, but my premium keeps going up. I switch when it gets stupid and start all over again. Rinse-repeat. 

They’re bitter. They drive Versas.

Or just practice on ice.

A V6 300C is quite snotty.

Coupes always look goofy to me. - CP.

Where’s your lane-assist proximity sensors now, bitches?

If you bought swordfish, you very well could be eating shark. Most people would find it difficult to distinguish between a Swordfish and Mako steak. Pelagic sharks are a huge bycatch of long line swordfishing.

Just pass on the right.

I will volunteer to find you a rust free one for what you are willing to spend. You can even write a story about how you flew down to FL and drove it back!

Either way, it’s cheaper than a DUI.

The puppet letters on Alphabet Soup freaked me out. They appeared to be  designed by the bad trip version of HR PuffNStuff.

The yard of misfit toys.

You’ll lose.

Try a wild turkey. Best Thanksgiving Ever!

In Maine, other kids knew you were poor if you got sent to school with a lobster sandwich.