I was on a date with this one gal

Did you talk in 3rd person too? That may have been the deal breaker.

If the NFL really wanted to do something about TV ratings, they’d stop airing Jets games.

I thought he was better with the Police, myself.

Your bacon is ham.

Damn. I heard there was a meth problem in the States but I hadn’t seen it first hand until now.

Approximately 380k (misguided but normal) people voted for Ford BEFORE his drug use came to light. After it came out, his political career (and he actually HAD a political career before he was elected Mayor) was OVER.

Bingo. This shit just ain’t workable anymore. It’s a fundamentally broken, bloated mess. Let’s get on with the split, let New England become it’s own thing with NY/NJ being the welcomed-if-somewhat-shunned tenants, let the Sun Belt create a monolith of economic failure and societal atrophy, let Arizona be their own…

I’m pretty sure if you told the founding fathers that one government would attempt to represent the will of 300M people they would have laughed in your face. I’m not sure that democracy works in those numbers, and I’d rather the coasts and Great Lakes split from the south and midwest. Yes we have states that have…

This presupposes that I give a fuck about Texas or anything south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Also, we really need to have a BBQ contingency plan in place in the Northeast before we can even start to consider this.

You may want to discuss blood pressure medication with your primary care physician, lest you suffer acute medical distress in situations such as these.

Ah yes, the age old physics dilemma of stoppable force meets movable object.

“This year’s”???? The AFC South is still and has always been the crappiest division in football since it was formed. Awful cities, awful teams, just the backwater of the NFL. A casual sports fan would get this list of teams confused with a list of NWSL teams.

Ooooh I still know a little Spanish! That translates exactly to: “when you know that you are the best team in the AFC and also the NFL”

I’m guessing Skyline chili. 

Nothing like a cold glass of Schitz.

Has Evander Kane also been accused of rape or are you just being aggressively wrong?

My family has a saying, “ Can’t be drunk all day if you don’t start in the morning. “ we might have a problem.

That’s what made Vin Baker so good, he never let himself get hung over.