Roger Goodell is the dude that ruins a good porn by groaning louder than the woman the entire time.

Do you know what a meme is?

When asked what he’s going to do now that he’s got a 100 million dollar contract, Antetokounpo said he’d carry on the fine Greek tradition of spending all 300 million of it.

If I had a superpower it would be to teleport people who say heinous shit from behind the comfort of comment boards to physically in front of the people or person they’re targeting with an audience watching.

Should have been an Omarosa roll.

Oh, come on. My crippling alcoholism is a fine religion, if you ask me.

Title Nein

Does.... does this mean that anything is no longer possible?

I can’t wait for the NFL films special on the end of Rex Ryan’s career at the hands of Belichick and Julian Fucking Edelman at QB.

Think about that, it took Bill Belichick and Nick Saban being on the same coaching staff to win the Browns a playoff game, and then they up and move and haven’t won one since.

One more point of praise for Bob Kraft. He bought his own land, and paid for his own fucking stadium. No “tax the shit out of everyone within 5 miles to pay for my team bullshit.”

The Pats do it like the rest of us, by golly, with their pants around their ankles, a Ronald McDonald mask on their head, and a little Shania to set the mood.

As a Jets fan, I’ve suffered a great many indignities, from the Buttfumble, to Tebowmania, to Brett Favre’s penis.

Your grammar is ungood.

Good thing people are around to control invasive species.

Is that what you say right before you start fucking them? It’s nice of you to give them a warning like that. Most backwoods hillbillies aren’t so courteous.

Mike Ditka doesn’t see all of the atrocities going on in this country that people say are going on. Maybe Mike needs to open his eyes.

The bell tolls for thee, Tomi Lahren

Their fundamental disagreement appears to be whether Kaepernick has freedom of speech, or whether he should literally not answer questions. Basically, the black man should just shut up unless it’s about football. Am i hearing this correctly? And that’s a member of the press, right?