There’s nothing that special about being incredibly stupid.

It’s because you’re looking up definitions instead of reading the fucking situation in which a likely swarthy fellow wearing mostly white (possibly eggshell) who has been checking out your better half is asking to go somewhere and get nude.
Stop looking things up you prude nerd.

Came here to post this. Two scrubs and some cover singer dragging Bradley Nowell’s dead corpse up and down the california coast. Get the fuck outta here.

Right answer.

Sounds like you’ve made stuffing for a bird, instead of oatmeal.

That is the least tempting food item I’ve ever heard described. Throw that crap in the toilet and let Liam wipe the rim with his disgusting sock.

This sounds as disappointing as when my mom made pancakes with chopped onions and peppers in them.

Nobody gives a shit about your bunk-ass oatmeal mush and your faux-foodspin writing voice. If you want savory oatmeal, learn how to cook risotto like a “grown-ass person.”

I’ll just lift up my leg and wipe the rim off with my sock, then go about my business as if nothing happened.

A history of oral with Manti Te’o’s girlfriend:

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...

Don’t worry, Puja. You’ll most likely die well before you turn 84, much less 94.

but his character made him that six-tool guy

I am convinced that if Billy Joel had simply embraced the fact that he is the most desperately lonely man who has ever lived, instead of trying to be an ‘80's cool guy, he would be far, far more critically appreciated today.

Well, that about wraps up the case, then! Good work, detective!

I never understood why the call it “Clean & Jerk” instead of “Jerk & Clean”. I mean, I always jerk first, then clean afterwards.

Save it for the Jets article, Ed. smdh

Fuck the Giants for ruining the country’s only chance to get Mercury Morris to shut the fuck up. I hate the Patriots too, but come on people, greater good.

Possibly the worst advice I’ve ever gotten on the internet. Better solution, know your limits and do you

Nerd.