“WE ARE MILLENNIALS,” (the back of this one says, “Engage, share truth, apply scripture,”

ASSEMBLE THE ENORMOUS CATAPULT!

Man, I hate it when it sands in the winter, and I have to wait for the roads to be cleared before I can drive. I hate shovelling sand in the driveway, too. THough I love making sandmen, and having sandball fights...

OH COME ON

I grew up vegetarian, have never willingly eaten meat. Accidents happen with a stray piece of chicken in a salad or such. But I know where ribs come from! I know what meats come from which animals! There is no excuse people because stupid isn't enough.

Ok, assuming you’re not kidding here (because there are serious comments like this every week and you’ve done nothing too over the top to show you’re being sarcastic) a person who keeps Kosher or Halal would know what “pork” means because it would be incredibly important for them to know that. If your diet forbids you…

PINKHAM’S LAW!!! DING DING DING! We have a winner!

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

I have it on very good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that Blueberry Muffin’s vagina* does, in fact, taste like blueberry.

“I want a Greek Platter but I don’t do olives, I don’t do hummus, I don’t do cheese and bread hurts my stomach.”

I just know that at some point before I die I'm going to see a package of hamburger with a warning label "Contains meat." and it's going to be because of one of these idiots.

This story was too short to send in, but here’s mine:

‘You know, some of the media is among the worst people I’ve ever met. I mean, a really good percentage is really a terrible group of people.’

It’s just not funny anymore.

Everyone is free to run for president. I swear we would have stopped him if we could.

Eddie Redmayne of course.

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.

This is how I read it. This is right, right?

We’re also removed from the multi-generational living that used to exist in our culture. Living near retired parents who can help out is just not the norm anymore. Being isolated from reliable family makes it that much harder to have a work/life balance. I had to start my own business to be able to do it, and…

Gun control? Koalas? No Chris Brown? THAT’S IT, I’M MOVING TO AUSTRALIA