Mrs. Mischievous
1/21/19 2:32PM

“Hey, the only thing I promised anyone with the festival is that they’d be Livin It Up! None of the amenities made it to the island, but I was Always On Time! Anything that went right that week, Put It On Me!” 

1/08/19 4:03PM

“If somebody raped me, I’d cut their dick off” -- not a brand-new sentiment.

10/23/18 2:31PM

Very proud of my nephew whose Bar Mitzvah is in 2 weeks, in the local synagogue. And he’s requesting gifts in the form of donations to charities. (As his auntie, I’m giving a nice bit to charity and a little something for him, too. Kid deserves a present.) Yeah, that $500K could literally save lives, whereas the party Read more

10/23/18 11:22AM

If I could, I would be both their publicists/PR flak and send them to the other’s events....

10/23/18 11:03AM

Maybe they were expecting Black-Eyed Peas Fergie and someone’s wires got crossed.

10/16/18 10:26AM

Biebs has a lot of catchy tunes which have nothing to do with Bieb’s vocal talent really but he does surround himself with people who know what they’re doing. Read more

9/21/18 12:18AM

There is a possible connection between handling cat poop and schizophrenia.

9/20/18 11:45PM

I once had a woman who has schizophrenia tell me that her neighbor (who also has schizophrenia) was telepathically sexually abusing her cat.  Thought disorders are so heartbreaking.  I really hope this woman can get whatever help she may need.

9/20/18 8:37PM

I mean OR she’s correct but she still doesn’t have a chance against a powerful witch like Beyonce, so she shouldn’t have tried to sue because it’ll only get worse now.

9/20/18 8:18PM

Good for Kyle. I’ve been known to use Kelly’s anthems as workout music. Music is an underrated exercise aid. It can really help you power through a tough workout. Read more

9/19/18 10:16PM

If you would have told me that the girl who sang about whiskey for toothpaste would someday become the woman for all women, I would have never believed it. 

9/19/18 9:38AM

“When I heard that, I called my agents, and I was like, ‘It’s me! Guaranteed. 100 percent it’s me. It’s a plot they’ve been trying to kill me for years, now’s their chance. They hate me.’ I was, like, crying... Read more

11/21/16 3:40PM

They probably have one of these on the car somewhere, too:

10/01/15 7:51PM

Also, I recently discovered that simmering vinegar and water in a pan will get rid of a deep-set smell. Not that I let food rot in a pan for like a week once.