I got a bill from my hospital for phone and TV services when I delivered my son. Couldn't fucking believe it. (Fortunately, I had great insurance and all costs were covered for my run-of-the-mill, uncomplicated pregnancy.)

I met him once! He came to my college to stump for Barack Obama during the 2008 election season. He's super duper smart and let a bunch of us get pictures with him.

Speaking as someone whose in-laws believe the exact opposite of almost everything I stand for, I'd just recommend you pick your battles. Paula Deen is not worth it.

I actually pulled a muscle while attempting this move while driving.

Mad props (are those still a thing?) to whoever has been doing the Paula Deen photoshopping. I've been laughing my ass off.

Today, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to join the trend, despite the clear will of the people’s representatives through DOMA.

Ha!

Almost woke up my kid while laughing.

PHOOEY TEN POINTS FOR GASTON.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Oh you don't have to feel guilty, it's been nearly six months so I'm starting to laugh, too. No one was hurt, we got much more than we anticipated for my old car, and that plus our tax rebate covered my new one. The only downer was we were planning to use rebate money to pay off some student loans. Now I just have…

Oh good I would not want you to get fired! Sadly it's a true story. Made 100x better by the fact that my son was born on Christmas Eve, so my husband totaled my car 12 hours I gave birth, which also happened to be on Christmas Day.

I got a new car as a push present, but only because my husband totaled mine 12 hours after I shit out his kid.

Someone offered me this suggestion when I was knocked up: if you're more concerned with spending the money for clothing now instead of after the kid gets here, buy some gift certificates to whatever stores you'll be using and get some clothing without ducks after el/la bebe gets here. Then just get some ducks in o-3…

Ooohhhh after shower is a genius idea!

I was so, so jealous of Finnish women when I heard about this, for one reason and one reason only: gender neutral clothing. We didn't find out the sex of our kid and it is really hard to find clothes that don't look like we celebrate Easter all year long.

And breastfeeding.

Can Tim Riggins be our next imaginary boyfriend?

Beautiful.

Bland.