You guys. I'm binge-watching Friday Night Lights right now and I am constantly sad that I cannot be BFF with Tami Taylor. And maybe try to steal her husband.

So this is nitpicky and terribly off topic, but I gave birth five months ago and ever since then I've been bothered by people saying things like "traumatized vagina" when referring to childbirth, particularly if they haven't actually given birth vaginally. Yes, it is difficult and painful to squeeze a human out of…

It's true. Zero fucks given. They could have invited the kids skateboarding across the street and I would not have cared.

Mr. G was in the room, my mom and brother were in the waiting room, but I came very close to kicking Mr. G out as well. When you're pushing your guts out, you can only handle so much "PUSH" being yelled at you. I think I may have told him to shut the fuck up at one point.

Ha! Yes. We were trying the ol' "have lots of sex to induce labor" trick. The women in my family swear by it. I couldn't really say if it actually helped or not.

I was actually due on January 1 but he came on December 24, after my water broke on December 23. And that is, in fact, exactly how it happened.

Yup. When I was in my third trimester, running around the mall because I stupidly decided to get pregnant 40 weeks before Christmas, I had my named legally changed to Gives Zero Fucks.

It's from the movie, Serenity.

Oh man, the baby thing is so true. My four-month-old and I went to a program at the library last week and the moms there asked me to have lunch with them. It was all I could do to contain myself and not jump for joy. Then they invited me to a weekly moms group. I cannot begin to tell you how excited (and old and…

For those of us with no torsos, this is not a problem - even low rise jeans come up to my belly button. Of course, my shirts are also dresses, so it's a double edged sword.

That said, all this nonsense about cupcakes symbolizing vaginas and orgasms is feeding the "feminists are nutty over-reactors" camp.

I'm coming over I'll help frost.

Jesus Christ you guys. It's a fucking dessert. I know many things are working against us right now, but desserts are not the enemy.

Ugh I wish I could be so enlightened. I was overweight when I got pregnant and came out of the experience weighing 12 pounds less than when I started, thanks to exercising regularly and eating right for the first time in my life. Nearly 4 months after my son was born, I now weigh 30 pounds less than I did a year and…

Right?!

From one educated stay at home mom to another, thanks.

Ugh. I had mono in high school and didn't eat anything but Slurpees for two weeks. When I got back to school all the girls were telling me how great I looked because I lost weight.

Yes. I started losing weight a few months before I got pregnant by eating right and exercising regularly for the first time in my life. I was down about 15 pounds before I got pregnant and kept losing for the first few months of my pregnancy, but at some point the trend went in the other direction. It was difficult…

For what it's worth, I'm in a similar boat. I was recently diagnosed with postpartum depression and will be starting antidepressants. (I was in therapy for anxiety issues pre-kid but not medicating.) The idea of taking antidepressants freaks me out, but I know I need to do it for my husband and my son, because my…

I have a 2-week-old and this was also my reaction!