Trapped in the Closet isn't that much more over the top than the insanity that is a normal R. Kelly album or even just an interview with him.

Its' best representation manifested on South Park:

It's quite possibly the greatest drinking game of all time.

Can he get out? Will he get out? Of course he will..... I have some cream poetry for you, Mrs Gideon....

Watch it with the commentary. You won't be disappointed.

Trapped in a closet is a cinematic gem. I believe it began on the radio—a musical soap opera. Fans liked it so much that it became a film.

Oh, you mean that time he complained about Uma and other post-baby ladies having them big old cavernous vageenos with the bats hanging down and so maybe you cheat because who wants to fuck that, youknowwhatImeanVern?

Internet credentials are the best credentials. "I'm pretty sure I'm MUCH more educated, professional, and feminist than you are, so shut up!" It works on so many levels.

Godamnit Hugo, you said you were going to quit the Internet already. How can we miss you if you never go away?

I don't have any responsibility to him to maintain my physique. I have gone up and down in weight since meeting him. Amazingly, he recognizes that my body is mine and he is not the dictator of how it looks. And, even more amazingly, he wants to fuck me because he wants to fuck ME and not just my body. I can only…

Goodness, what a tedious person. Here's the thing about exercising a lot: it makes you fucking boring. Case in point: you.

Might I advise some reading or a lobotomy for you? To soothe your ill-advised Randian bullshit?

You got it all figured out! Time to write that self-help book!

I work on my emotional well-being for myself and for the sake of the relationship. Funnily enough, that involved not beating myself up for not being what America assumes is the romantic ideal of every man alive. He fell in love with a person, not a body.

C'mon, Dominic! And I used to be so proud of you for calling Matthew Fox out on being an abusive piece of shit...

Jezebel is the only game going. Oh, I complain like a professional. Like it's my job. But I fall into a coma anytime I visit any of the more orthodox feminist sites. I can't stand the echo chamber effect. It's a bore. And, just for example, nobody's published anything over on Tiger Beatdown since June, and that blog…

I would love to see the smile on MizJenkins' face right now.

So how many people will now get banned/greyed for calling out her lack of apology to said commenters who were banned/destarred for calling her out on having an abusive asshole be a primary contributor? Let the Great Jezebel Circle of Fuckery continue apace.

Seriously! Oh, poor Jessica Coen, she was duped just like all of us by the smooth-talking, arch feminist-seeming Schwyzer. Except nobody liked him and his articles were exhibitionist click bait at best. Jesus fucking Christ.

Tracy i will never forget this article you wrote on Roman Polanski in which you screencapped a convo with a friend, the convo was vile it was full of "slut shaming" and victim blaming a 13 year old.