I believe pimps swagger.

Let's not forget that they were the original hoarders! They just piled their houses and flats full of crap to show off what they could afford to buy.

I love them and their dumb shit so much! I think of them like my grandparents—they're crazy, judgmental, and say the meanest things—but I still think they're kinda cute :-/

Anywhere it wants.

haha, as soon as I said it I was like, hey. Wait, I need this!

Alright then, fuck the cane. We will get you a little cart shaped like a chariot and a pair of rottweilers to pull you around. Now that would strike fear into people!

Hey, you could get a pretty fabulous cane. I have met a few really fashionable ladies that needed a cane so it became another accessory for them.

This has "something Lord Byron started for lulz" all over it. "Yes, my limp, it's very fashionable. You mean you DON'T have one?"

From silly hats to hysteria, the Victorian Era has seen some interesting to downright peculiar trends, but one of the strangest fads to have swept the city of London was that of limping. Yes, limping.

Do you like stories involving death, romance, resurrection, and penises? WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

That is the best book for teaching kids about about the countryside and animal shit! The pop-up version is hilarious. Had a friend who saw the kid-friendly musical based on the book, it had all the actors walking about with giant animal shits on their heads. Brilliant.

Several years ago, I started dating a most amazing guy just six months after I'd given up on love (for good this time!). Before too long, he started pestering me to get my iron checked, because I'd been vegan for 10+ years and he just thought it would be smart. Being uninsured and feeling perfectly healthy, I put…

My last husband bought me a very nice engagement ring...he was an asshole, and the marriage didn't last long. I was thinking of asking a friend to sell my ring, and put it in my purse. We met, she said I would get about 1/3 of it's value by selling it on line. The next night, my youngest son and I went to a hockey…

Its a long one but it features puking in a cop car. When I was a freshman in college (I.e. underage), I drank 11 drinks in an hour and decided to walk home in front of the campus police station (smart, I know). A cop stopped me, tried to engage me in conversation (which I failed), gave me a field sobriety test (also…

I am big picture lucky. Lots of privilege, happy family, content life, enough money, amazing friends. Some weirdness and badness and lasting trauma, but nothing beyond the pale.

I buy kids books when in foreign countries. I was in a hurry in the Oslo airport and found a little book with a mole wearing a funny hat. So I bought it. While perusing it on the plane, I realized that it wasn't a hat. Someone had shit on the mole's head and he was in search of which animal pooped on his head. It is…

Ooh, I actually have one this week! I had just spent a week in the hospital after suffering a pulmonary embolism that could've killed me. I was already living paycheck to paycheck, barely BARELY making ends meet. I was in an absolute panic over how I was going to handle this new mountain of bills that was sure to hit…

When I was a freshman in high school I went on a choir trip to California. We had two separate choirs and I was in the smaller one, so I didn't know most of the other kids there. Three of the girls I shared a hotel room with were close friends already, so I buddied up with the other odd girl out. We shared the…

I'm from small town backwoods and I realize everything I did here was wrong, but I'm getting my phD in two months, so I'm sorry. Anyway, when I was 18 (underage in my province) I was driving around with a guy I liked (beer in the back) and we parked in a park (that turned out to be private property). With no intention…

But you can say that you can't say that you've ever been a fan.