Because I’m doomed to be grey forever, no one will see this, but, next week I’m traveling to Italy for work and it’s my first time abroad and I can’t tell if I’m more terrified than excited. I’m a total control freak, that is vegan due to allergies and I’m terrified I’ll either die by eating something or kill one of…

It’s official: we are moving to Chicago at the end of June! Husband and I haven’t spent much time there, so any tips? Any places we need to know about and check out? We’re moving to the north shore and just had a baby, so extra points for things that we can take the baby to. Already have tickets to see Dolly Parton at…

On a more positive note, I’m going to this next Friday. Something tells me it’s going to be really awesome. Report to follow next Saturday

Botox laughs: when you can no longer move the upper part of your face, you have to open your mouth wider to express merriment.

Coachella, Sedona, same diff. No, wait! They’re totally different places in different states. And one is a national park.

All for a Fassavoy romance. McBender.

“This one time, Regina George Jennifer Lawrence punched me in the face vagina. IT WAS AWESOME.”

I call bullshit on Angie/Brad story. I mean, Brad leave his relationship with a woman everyone loves for an eccentric Oscar winner? That’s unheard of.

Aw memories. I remember when I had to stop listening to Amy Grant because she went secular.

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Ryan, your life is just like that show except for the fact that it’s nothing like it at all.

I’d be okay if it were sandals, but open-toed boots are just stupid as a concept. I love shoes and almost feel bad to dismiss an entire category of footwear, but seriously, those are dumb.

my first thought reading Dr Tysons tweet

Are Oath Keepers different from Promise Keepers? I’ve hit my quota on nonsense today so I’m not googling.

I love looking at rich people houses/apartments. I want Murdoch’s giant black-paned windows.

Rob & Blac Chyna has got to be my favorite celebrity couple of all time. The shade of it all!

I once lit my hair on fire acting a scene with a séance in a school play. Not sure if that makes me cooler or lamer than Courtney Stodden.

Maternity leave has got me so bored sooooo.... This happened.

It’s too real. 2003 and I look like I just walked out of that JCPenney ad.