Love the country ham and red eye gravy.

His neighbor is going to have to wear gloves and a mask while beating his ass.

Okag, Meg’s friend is fine AH...but was anyone else worried about her falling off the countertop? lol

Costco and BJ’s have some decent sliced cheeses, Muenster etc.. I’m thinking of mixing a couple of slices between some (very) thin slices of crusty bread. Add a ham slice and waffle croque monsieur.

You started with “camping is great” then proceeded to write something that could pass as fan fiction for the first season of The Terror.

This was an amazing piece with so many highs and lows. I almost thought you weren’t going to share the recipe but now we can all honour Mary Ann. Thank you for the morning heartache.

I switched to Zero ages ago because nobody should drink all that sugar — after I got sober, Cherry Coke Zero became my vice. Now, I can’t stomach the taste of the real thing. Unless it comes out of a soda fountain, with chewy pellet ice and a straw. God, I love that shit.

Since we’re on the topic of Blade Runner: I saw the director’s cut is on Netflix, and I’m trying to figure out how old my son should be before I force him to watch it. I make exceptionally bad decisions when it comes to this sort of thing, like when I made my then-10 year old watch Kingsmen with me while I kept…

We have 2 in Omaha Nebraska currently.  These are the best.

The Wrights bacon smoked with Pecan wood is awesome.

This took an oddly sexual tone while I was reading it. 

My former boss makes this stuff every year around the holidays.

I’m so sorry. How’s the war going for you? Still rationing? LOL!

“Could we have some more butter please?”

I haven't been laid in about a decade either, but I'm still bleeding like Drake murdered my vagina (and I'm 47).

I was in 8th grade when the entire grade was taken to a community theater production for cats.

I’ve got nothing but love for Maxine but today my thoughts have been filled with Elijah Cummings. That man spent the last three years of his life in pain and fighting for our democracy. His last official act on this earth was to sign subpoenas meant to defend and protect the children at the border. He was the very…

Every time you guys call it a fanny pack it cracks me up! In the UK, Australia and NZ a Fanny is a vagina. So saying ‘fanny pack’ is just alllllll kinda of wrong! (We call them bum bags)

Nick & Em: “No you the bitch. / Well, you that hoe. / No, you the hoe.”

a simple solution. but its still a lot. for instance. i walked out of my workspace today and i forgot to turn the bluetooth off on my comp. it wouldnt pair with my phone until i physically got out my comp and disconnected (or turned it off). that’s a flaw lol