Oh my sweet...What is this?

Crawlspace man freaked me out the most and has me hearing things in my own house now. I made my dog come inside to keep me company/for protection and since she’s currently enjoying a power nap by the heating vent I think we’re fine but boy that one gave me the heebie jeebies. I love scary story season on Jezebel!

Just heard the album.

Chips all the way. If you’re going to fry something, you might as well maximize the fried surface area. Plus, spears are multi-bite, so you’re radically increasing the likelihood of pickle-breading separation. Which would be sad and illegal in 12 states.

Joyce Beatty cooked his ass like a pot of gumbo 😂😂😂

It was my pleasure!

“E. Molly Ments, nasty woman always bleeding out of her whatever 4 out of 10.”

Oh Tam Rock...you learned the hard way that the only talk show host who could get away with those kinds of true confessions was Oprah, who was the queen of the one up, for every sad story she heard on her show, she had to one up it.

That was the only scene in that movie worth repeating. “They called me Gator!”

Yes Will Ferell was the pimp . I agree about it being uneven , but I still lose it when Samuel J and The Rock jump off the building .

It takes balls to rock that 2002 pop-punk-rock haircut in current year. Anyone willing to do that in public must be cool, on sheer self confidence alone.

THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

No WAY! I might’ve known your friend. And yeah, they kinda sucked.

“The only criminal he can’t catch is himself” is exactly the level of Cage-crazy I like, so I’ll definitely check it out. 

Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

I just wanted to say 'hi'!  I was an innkeeper for nearly 10 years!

I used to do something similar when my wife and I ran a B&B. Keep in mind that if you use a clear liquor like vodka the resulting liqueur will not be pretty. It will likely have a hazy, muddy tan look. The brown of brandy would help mask that. I wound up using only red fruits for my liqueurs, like strawberries and…

Punch up a hard cider, substitute for Calvados, very apple-forward sangria, substitute for brandy or rum in the Christmas fruitcake?

I used the story feature to create an evil butler-vampire with the generated name “Atticus Kitchen” and I love him.