I mean, you’re asking whether I’m going to say yes to a second dessert with my dessert, so the answer is always yes. 

Is this comment broth or dumb?

Good looking is a stretch, he looks like a Dr. Seuss character.

Now she has a story to tell her kids. “One time I performed so hard my clothes fell apart. And that’s what hard work is!”

.” It was like if all the action of Richard III culminated in Richard leaving the battlefield, eating some fish that didn’t agree with him, and dying in the night.”

I decided one summer to become a “dank hippie” and to me that meant wearing shirts with double entendres printed on them from American Eagle and linen skirts from Old Navy and Birkenstocks every day. Pretty sure I missed the mark.

These comments read like old people demanding the government keep their hands off their Medicare.

The countryside is shit. The city is shit.

Kavanaugh got six seasons and a movie where he cried about drinking beer after several hours of his accuser laying all of it out in triplicate. None of this works.

Maybe they can get Diamond and Silk to fill the position. 

Cruella De Vil
Cruella De Vil
If she doesn’t scare you
No evil thing will
To see her is to
Take a sudden chill
Cruella, Cruella De Vil

Daniel Tiger is pretty great for social-emotional learning, especially when compared to other kids shows. My son was briefly obsessed with Curious George, and that show is basically about a monkey that ignores what everyone tells him, fucks up repeatedly, yet it all works out in the end.

We had a catch-up clinic when the MMR came out - a run-down tiny caravan from the state health department. We all lined up for our shots as 13 year olds. Well, all of us except Kenneth, who ran screaming (literally). I wonder if he did ever get his MMR!

despite being an awful, rapacious company that chews up the environment and that now has the added bonus of what appears to be a history of secret harrassment issues, life is always better at mcdonald’s.

I am crying right now because everyone it feels like everyone is at mcdonald’s except for me.

Take your star while I weep for what once was. 

For anyone that wanted to know what this gaggle of old gawkers was gabbing about: https://kitchenette.jezebel.com/moments-of-sheer-restaurant-absurdity-1651038173

My name is on my thermos!

I save bread.

The real deal: Corto Olive, California Olive Ranch, Kirkland Organic, Lucero (Ascolano), McEvoy Ranch Organic, and Pompeian.