I didn't realize before what I needed to make my life complete until I realized I needed to see this film.

Lordamercy, the stores I have to avoid due to Jesus with a White J are getting ridiculous. I was so proud of my husband, who is essentially a robot with some periodic sexy thrusting moves, when he came home in a serious snit about the homophobic supporters of Chic-Fil-A who lined the street, clogging traffic and…

It's okay. They do have a variety of stuff. I buy from there too but only with a coupon.....they're not getting all my money.

You beat me to Mango! Also, you can't haveta Mango. FYI.

I believe in my right to Choos. Jimmy Choos.

Any shoes, because the GOP only wants us barefoot!

My first job was at a DQ. I lasted two weeks. I couldn't make the curly Q on the top of the cones. I now have major issues with inadequacies because I couldn't make the Q.

My boyfriend once misheard someone on the television talking about Channing Tatum and now that gentleman is known in my house as Charming Tater.

love ya back! <3

He's a racist dog. He hates all Labradors. He doesn't know why, that's just how he was brought up. Don't even get him started on Labradoodles!

Wait, so it didn't raise you up?

Ugh, I saw Blade in the theatre for a guy once. I was hella tired and tried to sleep through it but it was really loud and woke me up three times.

I read that too quickly and thought you meant that Wesley Snipes was good in bed.

Oh, fuck. I have you all beat. I helped make signs to hold up at an Usher concert. Like 5 mega-sharpie's worth. My ex bf loooooves Usher. And then he tried to get me to hold them up at the concert. I said no.

On one date, to wow an aspiring filmmaker, I told him a prized bit of trivia I’d gotten from my mother about how Margaret Hamilton, the actress who played the Wicked Witch of the West, was from a town 30 minutes from where I grew up, and how her tombstone—at her request—reads “ding dong, the witch is dead.”

I can't tell you how many times I've had a sex partner run from the room in the morning sobbing, "I NEVER WOULD HAVE SLEPT WITH YOU IF I'D KNOWN YOUR EYELIDS WEREN'T REALLY PURPLE!!"

Natural Balance and Blue Buffalo have some decently high-quality foods for a medium price. That's what my furbabies eat. XD

If any of these things start happening to you, grab the man by the shirt, pull him an inch from your face and scream "YOU ARE GIVE ME BABY TONIGHT YES?" Then start to recite the "Twilight" script and stick your tongue up his nostril

100% guaranteed to fend off ANY man.

Bynorth