I assumed “lad rag” was British English for “cum sock.”

Thanks, stud.

In 1969 I carried a banner in a protest march for women’s rights that said, “I’m on the pill and I VOTE!” I had to beat them off with a stick.

Do the sorority houses have banners that say “We’re all on our periods” and “Our blow jobs will leave teeth marks on your dick!” as security measures?

10 out of 10 Fleshjacks agree that these guys are hung and good at sex.

Have you ever met a guy who said he was fucking awesome at sex and after you had sex you agreed? Lucky!

I didn’t have a really great orgasm until my late twenties and I was a real slut for years before that.

Bingo! “Are you a closet deviant with too many children at home to fly your freak flag? We have climate-controlled storage units and staff who have seen it all and don’t care. Lock yourself in, turn on the overhead light, and live your secret life for our low monthly rates!”

No. This is why straight people are often so bad at setting up their gay friends. You can’t just stick two gay guys in a storage unit and expect the heavens to open, Cupid to do his magic, and anyone to have any reaction other than What the fuck?

As a fag hag from way back before Stonewall, I was offended for them. They LOVE a metal room full of Pier One baskets and a fedora but only LIKE musicals? Who decorated the set for this ad? The part-time check out girl in KMART’s lay-a-away department? Unless there is a sling hanging from the ceiling and a complete…

True, but I am pretty sure there are lactation fetishists. I don’t think that makes anything better, but hey...

Menopause is one of the few blessings of getting old. Many, many years ago I lost a pad when it managed to escape from my underthings and fall to the sidewalk on the corner of Madison and 64th St. It created a blood-lust feeding frenzy among a group of well-heeled UES dogs straining against the efforts of a…

“Warning: Your candidacy may cause delusions, narcolepsy, erectile disfunction, loss of appetite, depression and increased thoughts of professional suicide. When these symptoms occur, contact your physician immediately and return his check.”

He should start off with smaller goals, like running for the bathroom.

Giving some money to a homeless guy who you know is just going to blow it on booze...that I can wrap my head around. Chafee’s donors are working on a whole other level.

Ok, then, that settles it because every sentence that ever began with “Researchers Finally Disproved...” was completely accurate.

“I call Bernie Sanders an elderly, dyspeptic Bilbo Baggins, appearing like he was at the British labor party meeting.” Turd Blossom, aka Karl Rove on Fox. The middle-aged orc-faced troll is one to talk.

In America, socialist scares them more than jewish. A rich jew who wants their money for himself fits their narrative but a middle class jew who wants to give their money to poor people really pisses them off.

Washington doesn’t control Wall Street. Wall Street controls Washington.

It’s how my grandson sits in his highchair when he’s ready for a diaper change.