Every time there’s a Dirt Bag item about French Montana, I misread it as French Stewart, which makes them much funnier.

I had never considered watching The Adjustment Bureau until now. Well played.

The most recent picture of Sen. Steve Nass.

Sort of like Paul Ryan and his alleged fondness for Rage Against the Machine.

That same “friend” also vague-posts about needing trust in a relationship and when you ask them about it, they “don’t wanna talk about it”. Then the next week their boyfriend/husband is their KING and they are SO BLESSED.

That’s nothing. I got a nasty splinter at my aunt and uncle’s cabin in Colorado years ago. Since then I’ve had a plan for peace in the Middle East that i’ve tried to get heard but no one will take seriously. I even slept at a Holiday Inn Express to make it sound more credible.

Get your own epitaph.

Cast Ben Affleck and call it “Chasing Aurora”

Decent rhythm, good lyrics (especially when the cat tries to escape via hat), likes cats, named his Ravioli (and Ravioli’s meows were even with the rhythm)...

team no one

Normally, I would say Bobby needs a serious intervention. (After that banana recipe demo, I know how sophisticated your sense of humor is.) However, motherfucking Donald Trump is about to be president, it’s approximately nope degrees outside, and I don’t know about you, but I have to go to OtherMrsBiederhof’s (how…

One of those shriveled up hotdogs that’s been sitting around all day on the grill.

“And it seems to me
you lived your life
like an asshole giving wind...”

“Hold Me Closer, Tiny Hands Sir...”

* Technically, his penis’s estate. There won’t be much left. But the loss of consortium claims I’m filing on behalf of his hand will be frankly epic.

If he grows up to be like his dad, that will be bad enough.

I am positive they do not. He performed at a festival I was working at and people who only knew Hairspray - not even his version but the garbage that John Travolta was in or even worse their kid’s high school play - all sat in the front in the expensive seating because they were rich assholes trying to show off as…

If Trump was born to humble beginnings, he would have disappeared along with the other squeegee men when Giuliani cracked down on them.

Gabrielle, I love you, but now that you have compared Donald Trump with National Treasure Dolly Parton, you and I are in a fight. :(

No, fuck Debbie Wasserman Schulz, because if she’d been on top of the voter suppression issues, as head of the DNC in charge of federal level office elections, this election would be very different. This stuff was in the papers, it was a coordinated plan playing a long game, and she was too busy taking payday loan…