I'm one of those unicorns who has had what I would consider a pretty large number of partners and very few regrets, I guess. I regret a few of them because things didn't work out as I'd planned but that was usually a situation of me not being right for a person I was in a relationship with. I rarely regret a one…

I was a pretty good slut back in the day and now I just tell people they retired my number.

I once made a sim that I wanted to be the neighborhood's serial killer. I'd invite sims over for a lively party, and then use a cheat code to trap those sims in the walls of his house. Each trapped sim had one square to forever stand in. The really funny part is that in the first sims game, any sim you invited over…

Nothing brings us adults more joy than messing with the unsuspecting minds of toddlers! This reminds me of the baby meeting her dad's twin for the first time...

No. That baby is right. Her dad has a weak chin.

That little girl is totally going to find pod-person movies way scarier than the average person when she's older. Traumatizing childhood experiences you can barely remember impacting adult anxieties FTW.

Not gonna lie, I'm really excited to get her back as "the girl you don't want to run into at a party." I was sad that we lost that character when she became the anchor.

I'm glad she's feeling better about it, but this doesn't relieve me of having to see Colin Jost attempt to do jokes every week.

concealing an out of wedlock fetal death? That's a pretty specific crime.

Yeah, like them:

Hideous quality of the sculpt aside, and to some here who crave attention by posting derogatory remarks about the woman, however poorly she lived her life, she was an amazing talent as a songwriter and singer and her brief fame was well-earned.

There is absolutely no logical reason for an executive to choose a still relatively unknown British transplant over a hugely appealing black female comedian with a broad fan-base that consists of men, women, minorities, nerds, and journalists.

Or this one:

People don't like Griffin for various reasons, but she is a hardass when it comes to advocating for women in her line of work. I'm glad she's a righteous loudmouth bc I have no doubts for even a second that these nameless faceless execs truly believe people won't watch a late night show not hosted by a white dude with…

I think you also mean Dalek inspired.

Look, if you're gonna your work out there, people are gonna criticize. If you put your work out there, and your work is a list about how you only realized women were people once you had a daughter, then feminists and anyone with sense will criticize you. Deal.

Is it bad that I'm actually more excited that this means we might get more Drunk Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party?

Conversely, I remember the morning of the 2004 tsunami, and the first radio report I heard said the death toll could be as high as two or three thousand. And I remember thinking to myself, "Holy shit that's a lot of people." Ha.

17 this October. I apologize.