I seriously doubt that Perez Hilton is harming his children, but at the same time, I can’t believe people keep giving him kids.

One time I was on the Tube reading a book. I looked up and a man sitting across from me was reading the exact same book, kind of an unusual title, not exactly Jane Eyre or anything. What an odd coincidence! We made eye contact, nodded, and carried on.

So is this a spell that was invented when household freezers became common or were there icebox fore-runners or what

What’s up with Christ’s hairline

St. Vincent just doing the CLASSIC rock star move of dating a younger model. Her love will burn white hot and fade. May Cara be the first of many, gods willing, right up to her dotage.

I guess that since (Western) society has really shifted over the past 100, and especially the past 50 years, into really encouraging love matches above all other kinds, that an affair is probably more shattering than it used to be. If you marry for love, rather than shotgun-style as young people or “Need a new pair of…

Psh I don’t even like Everest climbers. Sorry everything has been discovered, that you were born too late into a world with good technology and travel and maps and shit. Why don’t you spend all your time and money on charity work in Nepal or spending time with your families? Oh that’s right you are adventurers, gotta…

Imagine keeping gloves on for your suicide

What even is the relationship between these people? Why invite someone to your wedding that you obviously don’t give a shit about, maybe even hate? And why even RSVP to GO? Dollars to donuts this is a school friend that hasn’t been seen in years.

She’s totally a Slytherin so if I had to guess, I’d say the Pope’s in Hufflepuff.

Dave and Vicky from down the road, nice family, cute kids.

Sephora 4 Lyfe. I seriously thought Ulta was Ultra forever and I also thought it was a hair salon. It feels too teenager to me, like beauty training wheels.

Helen Keller, known Socialist, is on the Alabama state quarter. This fact never fails to tickle me.

Honestly, I think it depends on if you’re from the South or not. Loads of white Southerners are competent-to-good at soul food, and may not even recognize it as such. If you are, I say bring the beer AND a side dish. If you’re not...just bring the beer.

Probably no one would have said a thing if she said her pets were her kids. People weirdly let that one go.

I think it costs a lot more in the UK than the US based on relative ease of smuggling.

Lots of questions here re: relative head sizes

Prosthetic bananas.

If you’re a straight, white, able-bodied male of at least middle-class means, have not suffered from any act-of-god setbacks, and live in the cultural West and STILL FAIL AT LIFE, then I don’t know what to tell ya, buddy.

(I almost included “moderate or above intelligence” in this list but honestly - that’s not…

That’s just what I came to talk about! I can’t find the Regretsy post, but here is the original, STILL UP, though with comments long closed.

These fucking idiots.