“It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it works out for them.”

If you cry when your team loses, then you run the risk of becoming a meme. These goddamn kids and their memes, they get you when you’re at your very weakest.

John Strong was eating at Jake’s Famous Crawfish, a Portland, Oregon institution since 1892

Cardinals fans are OBVIOUSLY the Packers fans of baseball in that they think everything about their team is super special and are also pretty racist.

Sure, you love the basketballs, but let me tell you about another man who “opted out” on a Friday, came back on a Sunday, and met with his followers.

Big if true.

From a white supremacy perspective it is like Coke and Diet Coke.

DJ Roomba’s lesser-known cousin.

I’m pretty sure they make more than $130K.

I would have included Patience instead of Don’t Cry. That’s a seriously good 5 either way.

So the Black Klansman movie isn’t just a feature-length version of the Clayton Bigsby sketch?

Nothing like getting served, pestered by Sherrifs & taken to court over a Will that myself and my sisters are not only 100% excluded from but do not even have any interest in contesting in the first place.

I prefer Jesus in a tuxedo shirt - he’s formal but he likes to party.

Dear 8lb 6oz newborn infant Jesus, let me see this before i die.

Magical War: This Time It’s For Love is what Star Wars: The Last Jedi should have been called.

I actively disliked this movie, and it was the first time I fell asleep in a theater since I was like 7. I don’t understand why they tried to shoehorn this “universe” into a Newt Scamander story when what they really wanted was to tell the Young Dumbledore vs. Grindelwald as Proxies in World War II for the Fate of the…

He’s an Owl now; I believe he’s just cultivating plumage.

There’s an after credit scene where Saoirse Ronan leaves Sacramento for the grassy knol and kills JFK so LBJ can rise to the presidency.

Paula Cole’s follow up single was clearly not as good.

THE BEST PICKLE IS NO PICKLE. Pickles are disgusting. Why do people love them so much??