His name is Howard Tuttleman, and he went to Northwestern!

Not the first email I sent (lost to the bowels of AOL circa 1997), but this is the first from my Gmail account in 2004. I was 12. In preparation for concert supervision.
To: My dad
Subject: BRIGHT EYES SONGS AND STUFF.
Body:
Sorry i just felt like capital letters. you will probably hate these because he can’t sing. but…

Wow, it’s like a Beef and Beer for a wedding.

Indeed. MM is so gorgeous exactly the way she is. I mean, what a goddess.

How does a reduction make your band size go up? What the what?

It’s also good to wait because breast reduction can sometimes make milk supply an issue if too much glandular tissue is removed.

Absolutely true for me. Tampons seem to either be drying me out or uncomfortably swollen; the rigid sides of the menstrual cup seem to dig into my vag. Pain all around. I think that the discomfort causes my uterus/cervix to behave differently.

I see your protein drink stain and raise you a jizz stain from having sex in the backseat of my car when I was like 16. I’m really glad that my upholstery is dark with a swirly pattern. Also, I look forward to the day when I get a new car after all these years.

I want to just put it out there that for many of us, having ANYTHING—tampon, menstrual cup, penis, kegel ball—in our vaginas during our periods is extremely uncomfortable or downright painful. Pads are the only option that’s remotely comfortable for me. If I had to run a marathon while menstruating, I’d just let it…

Not actually horrible, but memorable in its sort of guileless sketchiness: As a child, I flew UM to visit relatives every year. On a mostly empty flight when I was about twelve, I had just settled into my seat and taken my diary out for some good old fashioned angst-writing when a man sat down in the empty row across…

I had actually just assumed that Al lied about Mitcham being the father of Tui’s baby to cover his own ass (she is pregnant by one of the many rapist scumbags he prostitutes the children out to). I didn’t think there was any actual result switching.

Top of the Lake reminded me in many ways of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (book, never watched either movie). I think the sequels to that definitely kept up the awesomeness while taking it out of the isolated setting. Kalle Blomkvist and Lisbeth Salander are great characters. I think Robin is an even better one. I…

And incredibly hot, as if that all weren’t enough!

What do y’all think about the Hep B vaccine and newborns? I know a lot of folks who delay it until the baby’s first round of vaccines (around 10 weeks, I think) instead of doing it right after birth. Obviously, getting a shot hurts, and their thinking is that unless the baby is going to be near people who are at a…

There was a brief time in my life when I was lying to my parents about a lot of things, and I simply deactivated my Facebook page and then acted like it was a super mature thing to not have a FB page. If there’s no page for him, there’s no evidence for her to easily find if the guy is in another country and they don’t…

I actually probably would have been pretty stoked if someone had gotten engaged at my wedding as long as it was after the cake cutting. It was a share-the-wealth kind of time for me. That said, someone wore a white dress which pissed me off, haha. And a groomsman kept sneezing during the ceremony, which he OBVIOUSLY…

Side note here is that sizing and thigh gap have sooo little to do with weight.

Oh, good to know. TIL :) I just meant as compared to Aleve.

Re: breastfeeding/pregnancy and NSAIDs, Ibuprofen is better for acute things because it has a shorter half-life. Less opportunity to cross placenta/into breastmilk.

I actually say “autumnal” fairly frequently, mostly to refer to colors and foods.